Journal wanderings in time … written some months back

19 June 202319 June 2023 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

I decided to have a 40 day adventure by writing in my travel journal, a gift to myself many years ago that has lain dormant, waiting for some special time. I had no idea where I was heading, it was to be an adventure in life as opposed to an actual journey, although I had already planned to go away for a few days to Scotland. I just felt the need for it, life wasn’t turning out quite how I had hoped and I knew something needed to change. I needed an adventure.

This seat overlooks Botany Bay on the Isle of Thanet at The Botany Bay Hotel … thoroughly recommended

It wasn’t long before I started revisiting what my dream had been some years ago, to have a little seaside cafe named Pebbles. Rather than dwell on an unfulfilled dream, I thought about what it was that I enjoyed about café life. Cafés, and other sociable daytime places such as hotel lounges and bars, have the potential to be wonderful places to spend time – but it has to be the right place. A place where I can feel welcome yet left to immerse myself in my own thoughts. Whether it be developing ideas, writing or reading a book or just wanting to sit and absorb the surroundings.

The Botany Bay Hotel is in the distance on the right

So what is it about cafés that draw me in? Sometimes it may be the local cafe that becomes a place where I find a sense of belonging and community, seeing familiar faces. These may not be friends but may be acquaintances and even conversations or brief interaction with strangers can make my inner self feel connected. Other times, it’s a place with a view, a seascape with time to reflect at leisure on life or just to immerse myself in just feeling totally blessed by my surroundings.

Through writing in my journal, it reinforced the importance to me of nature and creativity. I have written things like “My little world of joyful nature” and then added my thoughts on what this is. I also came up with the phrase “I am a social entrepreneur, inspired by life, grounded by nature”. On reflection, now I want to reverse it – inspired by nature, grounded by life. Perhaps that’s for a discussion another time.

Birds are all around us as soon as we step out the door. They have the potential to captivate me, especially the little robin that joined me during the first lockdown when I tinkered with gardening. The seagull holds a special place in my heart yet others seem to despise the way they scavenge and steal. The baby seagulls are innocent of this in the early years, still learning and relying on their parent for food. If one comes knocking on your window with a cute, quizzical face be prepared to fall in love with the soft, feathery bundle that walks on stilts. Seagull parents are the most protective so a handy umbrella for protection from dive-bombing can be a plus.

Some birds capture our wonder before we have even caught sight of a real one. The colours of the Kingfisher, often depicted in flight captured by photos or within a work of art, captivate me whenever I see them. I am grateful to have a beautiful painting by a dear friend and this reminds me of Margate on the Isle of Thanet where she was exhibiting at the time. On the other wall is a painting of Botany Bay sunrise by another artist friend living in Scotland. Each picture brings back a host of special memories and stories regarding the people and places. It intrigues me the power that pictures have, aside from their intrinsic value and interest as a work of fine art.

Returning to birds, I am reminded of the joyful birdsong that greeted me whenever I ventured into the garden early in the morning with no other sounds to distract me from these magical notes of pure happiness. Drawn to look up to the sky and consider the wonder of flight, particularly the murmurations of starlings that take me back to special times by the Thames Estuary in Kent.

So well might you be wondering what is this to do with my travel journal and having an adventure. I believe an adventure in life can be had at any time of our choosing. It’s about being open to opportunities, whatever else may be going on in life that is outside of our control. It’s enjoying exciting exploration of what is out there to experience combined with an introspective inquiry, what do I really want to do? Oftentimes I don’t actually know what I want to do and having discovered that there are people who are multi-pods or multi-potentialities (look up Emily Wapnick on YouTube), I realise I lean that way. What that means to me is that sometimes I have so many interests and so much going on in my head that it needs somewhere to go, to be offloaded, to try and make sense of it all and to bring back clarity. In essence, to simplify life and bring it back to the basics. My travel journal does all of this and more.

It took me on a real journey to Scotland and an unexpectedly extended holiday traversing the Lake District, Lancashire, Yorkshire and the Peak District. I drove along routes that filled me with a little trepidation when there were warning signs regarding breathing and altitude. The reward was a stop off to admire the view and take in the peacefulness and fresh mountain air. I stayed at different places, discovered those I would love to return to and felt such a sense of freedom. I made few plans, often guided by where the next Starbucks was, somewhere I could sit in my car and refresh, ready for the next journey onwards. I am a free spirit still learning to live within the confines of life as it is today. Enjoying aloneness versus craving connection. A paradox in life.

One Picture So Many Stories

19 February 2021 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

Today, feeling somewhat reflective, I decided to revisit my blog and discovered an unpublished draft that shared the link to a guest blog post I wrote last summer. I was really pleased to be invited by Suzanne of Raising Midlife Vibrations to do this and the post ended up being my journey through writing. Whilst I am rather late in sharing this, I do believe that sometimes this happens for a reason – yet to be revealed! If you find this post helpful at this time I would love to hear from you. The link to my post is below and I thoroughly recommend you take time to explore Suzanne’s wonderful blog.

https://raisingmidlifevibrations.com/one-picture-so-many-stories/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=one-picture-so-many-stories

A different kind of journey – reflecting back on my 100 posts for my Waves and Pebbles blog

4 April 20204 April 2020 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

Yesterday when I submitted my first post for a while, which is something I seem to keep doing – one post then leaving it – I was congratulated by WordPress on my 100th post. Somehow if felt as if that had come at the right time, having realised this week that I really must return to the blogging world to help me deal with this current situation the world finds itself in. Blogging really helped me back in 2015, it will do so again.

When I started my blog in March 2015 my life had been confined since the beginning of January, I had gone through my own isolation in phases, first to the hospital grounds, then the ward, then my room and finally my bed before the reverse happened and I was able to return home. I had survived so far but I had to stay at home to guard myself from infection, still going through chemotherapy treatment till the end of the year. After a while I was able to start having trips out and taking my own photos that I would blog about. Eventually I returned to university which is when my blogging days went on pause for a while.

I had thought that I would revisit each of my 100 posts, one at a time, but a quick look back and I realise that it will be one month at a time. So my next post will be reflecting back on March 2015.

For now, sitting in my lounge, I am going to make my everyday late breakfast of porridge with bashed up almonds sprinkled on top with honey. Sometimes I sprinkle a little cinnamon sugar, sometimes I count out the almonds or use a mixture of milk and water to make my provisions last. I will sit and enjoy. The television is switched off, it is peaceful with a beautiful blue sky outside. Sometimes I wonder if I will wake in the morning and forget that all this is happening, forget that we are in lockdown. But somehow, even though I am able to sleep fairly well at night, if somewhat later than usual, I wake with the knowledge that ‘it’ is still there. This surreal situation that cannot be ignored and we know that people’s lives are changing forever, many sadly lost.

Yet those of us who are blessed to still be well in our homes I hope will be able to discover new ways to live a life that makes us feel good. Maybe not all the time, our moods are perhaps more than ever likely to wobble, but to be able to live a more simple life that gives us the time to connect more with those that we care about, even though at a distance, to spend time doing the things we really enjoy yet otherwise don’t allow ourselves the time to fit them in. And to discover new ways of living that enable us to gain a sense of achievement and fulfilment. For me, creativity is the key to this, playing with creativity in a way that suits us as individuals. Some people may already be artists, musicians, singers, writers, crafters and designers, for whom creativity comes naturally. For some, creativity is something that others do and is a whole new world to explore. Take little steps and discover something different that you enjoy doing. There is so much out there to learn and sometimes all you need is a pen and paper (see my post yesterday on writing).

“Pancakes!” How to start writing for wellbeing with the little random stories about life

3 April 2020 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

This post is for everyone who’d like to have a go at writing for their own interest and enjoyment but hasn’t known how to start. The following is a suggested way forward, take from it what you will. A little bit more about me and my book-writing at the bottom.

Morning pages

A method taken from Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way”, this is what got me started on using writing in my own life. Either first thing in the morning, or last thing at night, when you are able to have some private space and time to yourself (I know this isn’t always possible but try to if you can). All you need is some blank A4 paper and a pen. Make sure you are sitting comfortably, take a few moments to concentrate on your breathing, notice any feelings of tension and just allow yourself to relax and let go as you breathe. Once you feel ready to start writing, put pen to paper and just write whatever comes. Don’t stop to think if it is right or wrong, or to correct anything, just allow your pen to wander across the page. If you can’t think of anything to write, then just write “I don’t know what to write, I don’t know what to write” and keep repeating it until your own words slip onto the page. Keep going until you have filled three pages of A4 paper. This method gets you used to just writing without censoring anything, without thinking about whether it is being written in the right way or not. Try doing it once a day for a few days and continue if you wish. You may be surprised at what ends up on the page … the one thing there should not be is crossings out! Once you have mastered this, you are ready to go onto the next stage.

Timed writing

This is something that I learnt while attending a creative writing class. I now use this method regularly at our weekly writing group meetings. Set a timer for 5 minutes (I use a colourful triple egg-timer but you can set your phone alarm, stopwatch etc.) You can decide on a topic, anything of your choice. This morning my friend in Scotland asked me for a writing prompt and I ended up saying “Pancakes” because we had a conversation the other day about them and it just popped back into my head. So if you would like to use this same topic I would love to hear your stories if you would like to share them with me. You may start off thinking about Pancakes but end up in a totally different place … that doesn’t matter and is entirely what is so fascinating about the process. So … once you have your topic write it at the top of your page. Then just start the timer for 5 minutes and start writing. Don’t correct yourself, just write. It is a good idea to have tried writing “morning pages” a few times so you get used to writing without correcting yourself or worrying about grammar, spelling or punctuation. This is about bringing out stories from you, your life, memories, thoughts today, hopes for the future without being judged or criticised. To use writing to communicate with yourself and as a way of sharing your stories with others.

Start a journal

Find a scrapbook, photo album, large notebook or whatever you might have to hand, it may be an old diary or just plain A4 paper that you can keep in a file, and choose a time each day to write about your daily life. This can be very practical, just putting down the facts, or you can choose to go deeper and write about your internal thoughts and feelings. You can add sketches, stick in cut out pictures that you like, anything you feel like that says something about your day. You can decide to do this daily or whenever you feel like it so that there is no pressure, it is something to enjoy. Let it take you wherever you wish, you can talk about past memories, what is happening now or your dreams for the future. You can add complete pieces of writing such as that done as morning pages or timed writing. You can stick an envelope in the journal and use this as a pocket for this writing or you can extract quotes, writing these into your journal. Enjoy!

Life Happens, Live Happy … and start a blog!

However you are feeling in this moment, writing can take you on a personal journey that may surprise you. It has therapeutic benefits and is something you can do anywhere with very little resources. In 2015 I was seriously ill with leukaemia. Writing became my saviour, providing me with a focus during my treatment. This current situation that the world finds itself in has brought that time back to me and made me realise that, although I have continued to write and have been running Life Story Writing groups in the community, there is something about blogging that really helped me as there was no pressure. People could choose to read my posts if they wished and it was a really good feeling when I was able to connect with people across the world. Life takes over and my blogging has been sporadic. Eventually I wrote my book” Life Happens, Live Happy” which is the story behind this blog. I have reduced the price on Amazon to £0.99p for the Kindle version (it is free for those those who subscribe to Kindle Unlimited). I believe that there are things in it that may be of help to others during this time, especially to be inspired to start writing their own stories about life.

I am now writing a new book, “Writing back to Happiness”, this is a work-in-progress and a collaboration with my wonderful small writing group that I was meeting with each week until this situation unexpectedly happened. It will explain how I use an empowering life coaching approach to inspire people to write the little random stories about their life and to share them with others, with the many diverse conversations that arise from this.

Keep well, keep safe and I express my gratitude for everyone out there that is supporting the world in roles that are essential to our health and wellbeing at this surreal time. If you are struggling, and notice your mood dropping, it can help to focus on the little things that we are grateful for in our lives, listing these, writing them down, can help lift our mood when we may be struggling to cope with what life has thrown at us. Life Happens, Live Happy … and connect with others through writing and sharing your stories about the little things in life that bring you joy.

Kay xxx

Featured

Writing back to Happiness

1 January 20201 January 2020 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

In 2015 I started this blog when I was dealing with treatment for a life threatening form of leukaemia. I kept the blog up for some while – it helped provide me with a focus – and when I was able to go out, I enjoyed taking photos and sharing them.

As life returned to some form of normality – I had survived! (needing checks every six months) – my blog writing slipped. I had a couple of attempts to rekindle it but somehow life got in the way. Yet when I wrote my first book “Life Happens, Live Happy” (available on Amazon – author Kay Underdown), I fully realised how both writing and blogging had helped me through some very challenging times.

When I eventually graduated from University in 2017 with my degree in Social Sciences, having had a whole year out due to my illness, the idea for Life Story Writing was born. Workshops and courses using my own unique approach combining coaching, creativity and sense of belonging.

Following graduation I had to negotiate some difficult, and unexpected, life paths. the outcome is living in the most wonderful area by the sea, one of my dreams that I had long wanted to achieve but never before had the guts to see it through.

There followed a period when I half-heartedly worked towards working for myself as a coach and running workshops but somehow the time wasn’t right. Life was good. I still felt as if I was on holiday whenever I had the time to wander but I lacked something and I just didn’t know what that something was. So I returned to University to start a Masters degree in Methods of Social Research and during this time I had a period of exploration and fine-tuned my direction. It was the Life Story Writing workshops I wanted to focus on. I had an inner conviction that they could really make a difference to people’s wellbeing, and could help increase happiness and sense of belonging.

After a few initial workshops on happiness and empowerment and life story writing, I started running a longer course for a local charity aimed at people aged 50+. That course has led to something very special to me – a small life story writing group. One of the outcomes from this will be my next book – “Writing back to Happiness” Life Story Writing the Waves and Pebbles Way. I started handwriting this book just after Christmas with a lovely new fountain pen, part of a set gifted to me by my group.

It is during these meetings that I have realised how much I really enjoyed blogging, and not really understood why I stopped doing something I loved so much. Anyway, here I am, back again!

I am excited for 2020. It somehow feels that it is a year of the unexpected but that it will be good, providing new adventures with opportunities to explore all that life has to offer and doing it in my own way.

I truly wish anyone reading this the very best for 2020 and the coming new decade. May you give yourself the gift of time to explore what it is you really want to do with your life – whether that’s carrying on doing the things that you love or allowing yourself to explore new avenues based on your own life values and future dreams.

Watch this space as I continue “Writing back to Happiness”. My focus for my Waves and Pebbles blog continues to be random stories about life, creativity and memories – with the addition of nature – which are all reflected in my Life Story Writing workshops and groups.

I live in Broadstairs, on the Isle of Thanet in Kent, England. We are blessed with beautiful bays, sandy beaches and amazing skies. In 2020 I will be running short courses at various venues, usually hotels and cafes where you can relax and enjoy a social occasion and do some life story writing back to happiness along the way. I am also exploring the possibility of offering online groups so if you might be interested in this, please let me know.

I hope you have all enjoyed the festive season and are looking forward to what the New Year 2020 and the next decade will bring. I’d love to hear your life stories and what your hopes and dreams are for the future.

Kay xx

Please feel free to comment here or visit my website http://www.kayunderdown.com. You will also find my page on Facebook @empoweringyoubeyondyourdreams (Kay Underdown, Happiness & Empowerment Coach). Like my blog, this has not been kept up to date and I am looking at developing my social media presence specifically aimed at Life Story Writing. I’d love to hear your own experiences of writing … or perhaps the reasons why you don’t write … I also encourage people to draw their stories if they don’t want to write or to do storyboards, a bit of both!

Embracing 60 – surprise party and the value of blogging

30 December 201531 December 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

I had no doubt I wanted to share this photo but I pondered the title. Yes it was my sixtieth birthday recently. I’d been very specific about my age when I was in hospital over the past year and they had me down at one stage as 60 – NO! I said, I’m not 60, I’m 59 – a big difference in my eyes, fiftties sounds younger, sixties sounds, well, old.

So here I am, 60 and proud of it. It’s a fact, it’s a number. But does it really mean anything? I opened a card just the other day from a fairly new friend who had never known my age. She couldn’t help adding a comment to the card that we had chatted, shared things and experiences together, laughed and more and she couldn’t believe I was the age I was and said it proves age is just a number. I don’t know her age. Somewhere between 30’s and 40’s. Does it matter? What matters is that we clicked, we get on well together, she always makes me smile. She said I was an inspiration but she inspires me. We inspire each other, what can be better than that – peer inspiration, the best.

After the difficult year I have had, I felt blessed to reach my 60th and even more so when a surprise birthday celebration was arranged by my close family. I had an inkling that we were going to do something, I thought a small family meal out together somewhere. I was urged to be ready in time and was frantically trying to get my Christmas gift of earrings from a friend through my ears that I had not done for nearly a year, didn’t even know if the holes would still be there. Success and then I made my way out the door to be greeted by a huge white limousine.

It was a wonderful surprise and I sat sipping a taster of Champagne as I floated in the car to our destination. It seemed unreal. In my mind I kept thinking I knew where we were going as we took different turnings and changed my guess as we went past. We ended up arriving at one of my favourite haunts some years back where we spent many happy times, a fairly local hotel where I had partied, had family brunches with Santa and enjoyed the therapeutic benefits of the health spa. After capturing our family group outside the limo, I ventured inside, not prepared for the surprises that moment by moment dawned on me. Some of my closest friends who had supported me so much during the past year were already seated in the lounge area, scattered so it took me a few minutes to take it in and tears of emotion and joy escaped my eyes. It couldn’t have been more perfect. How they had all managed to keep it from me at a time when we were wishing each other a Happy Christmas and not expecting to see each other until the New Year I do not know. I never suspected such a surprise. It brought a warm glow to my heart and I treasured every moment.

I have dwelt on this more than I intended and it is hard to express in words how I felt. I had not felt able to make plans myself because I had not long had my last treatment of chemotherapy and was still recovering, and somehow it being the last of the cycle made it more difficult though I should have been pleased. As I write this I have enjoyed a joyous Christmas at home and spent a couple of days away at a family party where most of my family were present and I met once again with the youngest member, just under a year old, my niece’s son.

I would never have imagined years ago that at age 60 (which always seemed so old when I recall my own parents reaching that age) that I would have a teenage daughter and be mid-way through a degree course at University. I have a wonderful family, dear friends and a range of interests that keep me happy most of the time. There are challenges ahead but there is so much to be thankful for. I am returning to study in January and this will bring its own pressures which will again mean that my blogging will no doubt go on hold again, but it is not something that I want to let go of. It is something that I want to return to again and again as there is something so special about it. I have tinkered with different aspects of social media. Each has its place, benefits and downfalls, but to me nothing gets near to what blogging can do. It opens up a whole new world and the opportunities are endless. Whenever I come on here I get lost in what I am doing and never feel that I have wasted my time. There is always something that draws me in to read more and I know that it is always there for me if I need it.

Introducing my Healthy Eating Forum for Bloggers across the World

9 September 20159 September 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

I know I need to eat healthier. It’s not that I don’t eat reasonably healthily, as I think I do. But it is what the ‘reasonably’ stands for. Some days it’s chocolate, including keep returning to that delicious block of Belgian chocolate gateaux that I thought was such a bargain as I can slice it straight from the freezer and no longer wait for it to defrost. Other days it’s butter, too many things throughout the day that just wouldn’t be the same without it: hot buttered toast, mushrooms cooked in butter, cauliflower cheese with a rich sauce. Then recently I bought a second hand Kenwood food mixer and have been making my own bread and baking cakes. How do people who bake all the time manage to keep trim? And going out socialising, eating and drinking in restaurants and cafes. Yesterday I was offered dessert (after a fairly healthy and very filling jacket potato with cheese and salad). Usually I decline but I was tempted by their homemade Raspberry Pavlova. When it arrived the raspberries were sitting on a thick blanket of fresh cream. It was delicious but even I realised it was a bit over the top.

When I was first diagnosed with leukaemia in January this year I was in hospital for three months and lost about a stone and a half (I never can visualise my metric weight). I must admit I was glad that I had some weight to lose as I eventually couldn’t eat and had to have nutrition intravenously. The medical staff were concerned that I got my appetite back and ate things that would build me up. So when I could eat, it wasn’t particularly what I would call healthy – it was a bit of a mix. Which is probably where I am at now. I do believe that as long as the healthy and unhealthy is properly balanced then it is not a problem. But what is that balance? Balance is probably the wrong word as it definitely should not be 50:50. What do you think?

When I was in my early twenties I was forever trying to lose weight, trying different diets with my friends then putting the weight back on. Then I stumbled across something that worked for me, losing over two stone and keeping it off for many years. I still recall that I had a set menu every day, it became a routine. I had cereal for breakfast, crispbreads with apple sauce (yes, sounds strange, but I discovered it and it worked for me) then a chicken salad in the evening. I also walked to and from work, a good half hour each way. The thing was I didn’t have to think about what I was going to eat. I knew. Once I got used to it, I stopped being obsessed with thinking about food. Have you found something that has worked for you?

I know what I need to do. I need to plan what I am going to eat, make a shopping list and stick to it. And how difficult is that? Simple. Then why is it so hard to do? Why do I seem to have such a block when it comes to planning my diet? I have come across some blogs on here which focus on healthy eating, including people who have been affected by cancer and discuss the best types of food to eat. The problem is there is so much information out there and it’s knowing the best places to look. Have you found a really good blog or website? Is there a book you would recommend?

I should have the motivation. I have good reason to want to eat healthily but somehow that isn’t always enough to do what’s needed. There must be other people out there who are struggling like I am, or who have moved on and now living a healthy life. I am therefore setting up a page which people can visit and share their own experiences, what has helped them overcome blocks to healthy eating, what healthy eating means to them in practice, what the risks are – such as what has stopped them following a healthy diet, what has got in the way. Things such as stress, relationship break-ups, long working hours, cooking for family? I’d love to hear from bloggers all over the world.

Please visit my new Forum https://wavesandpebbles.wordpress.com/healthy-eating-forum/ and let me know what you think of this idea. I hope it will bring people together to discuss their issues related to healthy eating. You may have noticed I don’t talk about losing weight. I do need to lose weight but I think that once I am eating a healthier diet, my weight will gradually reduce which is the best way of keeping it off.

I look forward to hearing about your own experiences and am hoping that by doing this, it will help me, and others out there in the blogging world, live a healthier life.

Happy blogging.

Kay

Recovering at home – working towards my goals

29 August 201530 August 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

Photo Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Today I thought I’d better try and get back into blogging, which I had been looking forward to but other things have got in the way and I couldn’t seem to decide what to write about.

One thing I am really pleased about is that I at last seem to be making progress with an idea for a novel, one of my ambitions in life. It is gradually beginning to take shape, slowly. At last I seem to have found a way that works for me, by doing it randomly and gradually it is coming together and different ideas are starting to pop up. I want to write something that is both simple and yet complex in the way that it is structured, bringing together things to do with life that I am interested in and using some of my life experiences and learning. I had often thought about writing something autobiographical until I attended a creative writing course which made me realise that I could write fiction and weave personal experiences within it.

The other thing I have been doing over the past couple of weeks is catching up on an online learning course on social media marketing. It is an introduction and has been interesting seeing how the course itself has been put together. Maybe this will come in useful when I publish my book! When it comes to publishing – some way off for me at the moment – there are decisions to make on whether to go the self-publishing route, whether to publish an e-book, traditional printed copies or both. I love books that I can just flick through, there is just something about browsing in a book shop, holding the book and turning the pages. Yet having an e-book would open it up to a much wider audience.

Something else I have done in the past couple of weeks is putting together a photo book. I took advantage of one Groupon’s offers and enjoyed putting together a random selection of memories from photos on my computer which spanned from the birth of my 13 year old daughter. I received the book in the post yesterday and am really pleased with it. It has a hard cover with my own photos on the front and back. A bonus was that I could share an electronic version with friends and family if I wished – I wasn’t expecting that – so I am well pleased. Going back to my novel, I can really see the benefits of going the ‘e’ route but a combination – like my photo book – would definitely suit me best. So at some point I will need to research the options, particularly cost-wise and time-wise. If I really got a move on with my draft, when could I realistically publish? At last I do actually believe it could happen, that it is not some flimsy dream without legs.

Since coming out of hospital I have been dipping into ‘The Millionaire Course. A Visionary Plan for Creating the Life of Your Dreams’ by Marc Allen. I really like the book, particularly the use of ‘keys’ and numerous quotations. It has reminded me of things I have learned in the past and I have started doing affirmations again in relation to things I want to achieve. Last time I did this regularly, I did notice changes take place in my life for the better. I just need to remember to read the affirmations each day, add to them or change them, and see what happens. It helps in keeping things positive during a difficult time, as does my writing.

Well that’s it for now. I hope not to leave it so long till next time. I’m now going to see what photos I can use for this post.

Additional note:

It intrigues me where things lead. As I thought about what photo to use, I decided to take a photo of an inspirational tile that was a gift from my eldest daughter some years ago. It sits here in a prominent position in my room. I then decided to look on the back to see if there was any way of finding out if it was still available. Well I still don’t know the answer to that as I got distracted. The tile is by Russ Berrie and I googled this. I ended up reading about Russ Berrie’s story as Founder of The Russell Berrie Foundation. A man who starts making money at the age of 10 years old selling scorecards at baseball games and has a real belief in the value and skill of being able to sell. He becomes one of the top 40 most generous Americans and founds The Russell Berrie Foundation. Sadly he passed away on Christmas Day in 2002 but his memory lives on through the Foundation. I liked the following quote from his story which is an extract from a lecture given in 1998 “Selling Your Way to Success”:

“So, set a goal, then persevere in that goal through thick and thin, overcoming all obstacles … if you have the courage and the sense of urgency to get it done, you will do so. You can achieve what you want if you truly want it badly enough. My wish for you is that you get in touch with the person that is uniquely you. I advise you to trust yourself enough to let the world in and savor all that it has to offer.” (Russ Berrie 1998)

Home again – reflecting back on beauty in nature after chemo

19 August 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

Hi everyone

Just got back home after another spell in hospital. I realise I have missed the blogging world which is out of reach where I stay as there is such a bad mobile connection and no Wi Fi. I thought about writing blog posts while I was in hospital but for me it isn’t the same. I like to be spontaneous. To write and post the same day if I can. There may be some snippets of writing that I can share but I tend to look back later at any writing I do in hospital rather than revisit it straightaway.

Anyway, the week before I was admitted to hospital following my third cycle of chemotherapy, I had taken a gentle walk in a couple of different places. So some of those photos will be appearing here. They are not brilliant photos, a bit blurry in places, but for me they represent days spent enjoying just being in nature on beautiful sunny – yet cloudy – days.

Possessions, memories and how to approach clutterless living unique to you

7 July 20157 July 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

Copyright 2015, Cajsa Lilliehook, Flickr, CC-BY-SA, via Wylio

Following on from my last post on Selfness, here is another piece of draft writing from the same book (self-development/coaching).

‘Clutterless < — > Tidyness

I have had a long struggle with ‘clutter’ – I hold on to things for too long that I may never need. I now recognise that there is little value in this, apart from saving a few pennies or pounds in the distant future at the expense of living a cluttered existence. If there is too much clutter, housework takes too long and becomes an unwelcome chore.

There has been much written on being clutterfree but some of this can be over-the-top, and lead to having a de-personalised space which is great for a showhouse but is it really a home?

At one time, I felt rebellious about clutterbusting. Having had to downsize, I had no option than to sell or dispose of many items, some of which I still have regrets about. Thankfully I did not rid myself completely of some of the smaller boxes containing various bits and pieces. I later went through these and as I picked up a piece, I would recall a special person or time in my life. Having a poor memory for some things, these triggers are invaluable and I am so thankful that I still have them in my life.

The key is to achieve a balance between possessions and space, with each possession having a place. This leads to being clutterless (as opposed to clutterfree), keeps the space tidy and results in a personalised environment that is special to you.

Periodically I enjoy spending time sifting through a selection of my possessions to check that I still want to keep them, or to organise them in a better way. This works for me. I have found that by decorating a room in a way that brings me pleasure, then choosing storage solutions that complement that environment, I am able to keep the things that I love in a way that adds to my contentment in my home.

My problem is that I still buy things and bring them into the home. I get pleasure from browsing in charity shops and strolling round boot fairs, disastrous for adding to clutter! But I enjoy it, and therefore my sifting has become a regular occurrence to keep balance within the home. The benefits are that this process can be done mindfully. (A topic for another post.)

Here are a few tips for becoming clutterless:

Spend random times – perhaps in the evenings or at week-ends – going through a shelf, drawer or cupboard. What works for me, if I am not motivated but want to sort something out, is to set a timer for 20 minutes and make an agreement with myself that after 20 minutes I can be done. Oftentimes I am by then enjoying myself and get lost in the task, carrying on longer and achieving more, with a sense of satisfaction from the end result.
Draw up your own criteria for keeping things. My own is that an item either gives pleasure, is useful now or within the next year, has memories or some other reason that I can justify to myself for keeping it. Books are my downfall – yet they are such treasures. Also clothes. I do hold on to a lot of clothes, even though I apply the sifting process, but if they are well-organised then I don’t see it as a problem.
Decide what storage you want and get it. It doesn’t have to cost a lot. There are lots of cheap shelving options out there, or colourful boxes and filing systems. The choice is yours. I have a bed with wonderful drawers which take a surprising amount.
Question what you are keeping ‘because it may be of use some day’. My experience is that it is the things with memories, special things that people have given me, that I have missed. Those without memories are soon forgotten, and if you don’t need them then the likelihood is that you will not miss them. Amongst my regrets are my food mixer and food processor that I had for many years. I was in for a shock when I saw the replacement cost. So, think twice before sifting too far!
Think about what you really enjoy in your life. Consider your values and keep the things that enhance your life. Let go of those you will never use and just leave you with feelings of guilt that you should have done something with them.

Accept your level of clutterlessness and enjoy.’

This piece was written a few years back. If you have read my recent post on Clutter-busting, it will be clear that I have not completely solved the clutter problem. It remains something which varies according to my health, energy and motivation.

At the risk of sounding a bit weird, a conversation and youtube watching session with my daughter on shopping hauls gave me the idea of playing around with my new computer videoing a garage book haul. I took a block of ten books off my shelf unit in my garage and recorded myself going through them and talking about them and what I found interesting. I was hoping that by doing this I would at least find something that I no longer wanted. I was wrong … it just reinforced my choice to keep them. And the potential youtube video? It was a learning experience – for a start it was too slow, I was swinging to and fro on my chair – very distracting – and it seemed so false! There’s certainly work to be done if I want to join my daughter in becoming a youtuber (something she wants to do but not yet and would be great if we could both get involved).

By the way, for those that have read my post on Clutter-busting, as part of my garage plan I was researching the cost of skips at the week-end only to find that local skip hire companies are exceptionally secretive about their fees meaning that a few phone calls were needed. Well today I contacted some and was slightly horrified at the cost. Then I looked at the van hire and somehow the skip seemed more appealing. However, even just working out that plan got me motivated to make a start on sorting the garage out, even if it wasn’t according to the plan I devised. I’ve made a start on working through it.

As a last thought, I think being part of this blogging community is really helping to motivate and inspire me. When it comes to the home, I particularly like Le Zoe Musings which has such beautiful photos which include a selection of closet solutions. Blogging has opened up a whole new world to me at a time when the world might otherwise have seemed to be getting smaller.