Ripples: belonging through journaled poems and photo memories

A repurposed work-in-progress painting of my garden where I used to live by the sea provides the background to my new self-published book. Far left, three little boxes of light can just be seen where I painted my shed windows

Journaled poems

I first wrote a poem when I started writing Morning Pages (Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way). It somehow just flowed onto the page as I wrote my three pages of free writing. It was a poem to me, but not in the sense of a proper poem written by a poet. However, it was very personal and special to me. Since that time I have written quite a number of such poems, especially when I was going through a period of depression. I’ve always referred to them as my doomy gloomy poems. I kept these for a long while as although they were a bit gloomy, by the end of the poem I was turning things around so they had a positive slant. This all happened at the time I decided to write. I would start writing something, often deciding to have a set number of syllables and rhyming line endings but no set pattern, just spontaneous decisions which carried through until the poem was finished. I would say that during that time, at least part of it, I was in flow, I became immersed in what I was doing and lost all track of time.

I haven’t written many in recent years and they tend not to be so gloomy. From time to time I have gone through them and wanted to do something with them. I compiled a draft book with them all in, in alphabetical order, but it just wasn’t doing it for me. There was nothing special about it, no special meaning for me. So I put it aside.

Photo memories

I thought about having the poems illustrated. I’m no artist but I do love taking photos, they are like my diary of life. So one day I just came up with the idea of choosing one of my photos to go with each poem, with their own linked memory. Alongside this, I had decided to select my favourites and ten seemed to be the perfect number. One poem is a haiku written during a creative workshop, the rest are journaled poems written quietly, either at home or in a local cafe … or in one case, on a train when it was delayed and stuck in the middle of the countryside.

Some months after, I have given the book a name and am self-publishing under my Waves and Pebbles imprint. It is a tiny book with few pages but it has ended up meaning so much to me. I decided to write just a couple of pages of endnotes that say a little about the memories.

Repurposed painting

I recently started doing a mixed media mantra art course with artist Kelly Rae Roberts and that has got me back into playing around with paint. One day I decided to paint over a large canvas of a painting I did en plein air in the garden where I used to live and have ended up with the work-in-progress painting shown in the picture. I decided this was perfect for my book cover and just added a blob for the back cover to represent the sun and remind me of the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that I experienced when I lived on the beautiful Isle of Thanet coast in the south east of England.

The blob makes all the difference to the back cover!

I’m excited to say that the book dropped through my door a couple of days ago. It will be online, official publication date was yesterday – a year on from my last book “Writing Back to Happiness” written in collaboration with four wonderful ladies in Thanet. I notice that some countries already have it available but it has not yet worked through the system to be everywhere and will appear in time. I’m not sure how other people may experience “Ripples” A journey through belonging 10 poems with personal photos and endnotes (by Kay Underdown) but for me it helps show a different way of representing personal memories and preserving them for the future.

Self-publishing – pricing dilemma

I have found it very difficult to put a price on this book as it is very slim. Often we are guided by the size of something in putting a monetary value on things yet if I think of what else you could buy for so little, it is not very much. For me, I will treasure my little book with the memories it holds safe for me and provides the starting point for more little stories in life, whether written or visual. More recently, I have explored sound and music in telling a digital story in relation to my personal experience of cancer … but that is definitely for another post.

Behind the photo

Inspired by a flower in my garden, therapeutic creation

Recently I started watching an old series of Portrait Artist of the Year (2020). There was one artist, Curtis Holder, who really intrigued me and ended up winning the whole competition. He uses drawing to create his portraits that involve a multitude of lines, a kind of scribbling that doesn’t often leave the page. Gradually you see the person emerge and there is something quite special and intuitive about the whole process that seems to capture a sense of movement.

Inspired by the series, my aim is to work on creating portraits of my family members that create some kind of memory. The first one I did was one of my daughter while she was studying … I wouldn’t say it looked like her but it captured a moment in time and is part of my creative journey.

I do art for my own enjoyment, not to show others unless it is to inspire people to just have a go at something creative. It is a way of bringing mindfulness into your life without specifically practicing it.

Anyway, back to the picture. Curtis uses coloured pencils and after the series I discovered what pencils he used. I decided to treat myself to a slightly cheaper version but they are still of professional quality. I was excited when they arrived, looking forward to experimenting.

The next day, I decided to go out in my garden and create a flower. I wasn’t going to copy a photo, or get up close and study a flower precisely. Instead, I sat with my hot chocolate taking in the view of yellow Californian poppies surrounded by lush green grass. Orange Californian poppies are one of my favourite flowers, many years ago I lived next door to a very kind and gentle elderly lady who had some in her garden (she actually brought them back from California – or so I like to believe) and they always remind me of her. I didn’t know you could get yellow ones until they emerged.

I admired the poppies from a distance, blurry blobs of sunshine. Once I had decided what I wanted to do, I went indoors to select a handful of Light Yellow Glaze, Strohgelb Cream, Earth Green Yellowish and Dark Chrome Yellow. Later I returned for more, Warm Grey, Middle Purple Pink and Dark Cadmium Orange, plus of course my favourite colour for the sky, Phthalo Blue – in reality it is lighter than the photo shown here. I just sat and became fully absorbed in the moment with the sun bringing a luminous radiance to the colours spreading across the page.

A warning … know when to stop. I was really pleased with my picture and then I grabbed some more pencils. I realised too late that I had picked up some pastel pencils that weren’t blending with what I had used. I rubbed off what I could and tried to remedy but it went from bad to worse. I tried creating a tree trunk and ended up with something that looked more like an eye so I added eye lashes as the final touch and turned the picture around.

I wasn’t going to share this photo but changed my mind as it shows that photos can be deceptive. The main photo is just a portion of the actual picture, so even if things go wrong you can still save what you like in a photo.

Watching Portrait Artist of the Year led me to learn about Cuban dancer Carlos Acosta. The prize for winning the competition was a commission to create a portrait of Carlos for the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery and there was a whole episode that captured the process of Curtis creating his portrait. I found it fascinating and it resulted in something quite different and I think very special, I would love to see the original but it looks like that may be quite a wait. On checking, I find that the Gallery is currently undergoing considerable work and is only partially open until 2024. I did discover the Gallery’s Edwardian Tearooms, a vast space surrounded by works of art and with seating booths that have Champagne buzzers. This reminds me of one of my new activities during the pandemic. I started writing and planning a novel set in Edwardian times, something I never thought I would consider. To be honest, I enjoyed the research as much if not more than the writing so I didn’t get very far as I went off in so many different directions. So maybe a visit to Birmingham in 2024 would be a good plan to sit in the Edwardian Tearooms and be inspired to do some more novel writing.

I was led on a different research path with Carlos Acosta, discovering that he has such an inspirational story and in the programme he came across as a really nice, genuine person, and extremely talented. So another package dropped through my door this week – Carlos Acosta – No way home – A Cuban Dancer’s Story. I’ve not yet started reading it but I have already sneaked a peak at the photos included within of Carlos with his family and some ballet pictures. I also want to get to see the film Yuli one day which is based on his story.

Carlos was appointed Director of Birmingham Royal Ballet in 2020. Below is a link to further information about him on their website and also a link to the commissioned portrait of Carlos on the artist Curtis Holder’s website.

https://www.brb.org.uk/profile/carlos-acosta

https://www.curtisholder.co.uk/multilayered-line-works?itemId=g41rbqkfj1w2adtgvb4ugwudl96ben

Patterns in time

Today it went through my mind that I was gaining some kind of pattern to my daily life. There is much advice that routine is good for us during this surreal time but a belief I have held for some while is that I don’t much like routines … to me it feels like too much predictability whereas I like to bring spontaneity into my life, to allow time for those creative moments. Yet without some kind of planning, at the moment those creative moments haven’t quite been happening. Slowly perhaps we are adapting to the changing nature of life that has been sprung upon us. For now, life as we knew it has seemingly been put on hold and people are affected in such contrasting ways across a whole spectrum of experience. So for now, I am enjoying accepting a different pattern into my life. One that is evolving yet can adapt and change as the rhythms of the day change with the weather and external commitments that spring from a different source that is changing the nature of how we live in this moment and maybe in the future to come.

Today, to go with this post, I wanted some kind of pattern, so I started with a photo that I love and thought I’d see where it went. I used Affinity Photo software on my iMac and just played around with it until I discovered something that I felt was right for this post. It is a photo of a place that I love that I don’t get to see at the moment but is held close to my heart. It’s so beautiful that it deserves a post of its own – Kingsgate Bay.

Reflecting on life at Caffe Vista, Tenby

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Copyright Kay/waves and pebbles 2016

It is two years ago that I first visited Caffe Vista in the Summer of 2014.  I made a spontaneous visit and discovered this great place in Tenby which drew me back this year.  I was lucky on all occasions to get a seat on their small balcony.  There is plenty of seating inside which is really nice and a variety of food which I have not yet sampled.  I enjoyed a strawberry, raspberry and mango smoothie followed by a hot chocolate on my first visit of the day while I sat reflecting on the beauty of Tenby and thinking about life.  I then returned for a strawberry, banana and yoghurt smoothie to take another break from ambling along by the beach and through the narrow streets.  A lot has happened healthwise during the past two years and I felt blessed to be able to return.  Next door to the cafe I noticed that there are some holiday apartments which enjoy the same views – what a wonderful place to stay!

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Copyright Kay/waves and pebbles 2016

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Copyright Kay/waves and pebbles 2016

Tenby – stunning Welsh coastal jewel

 

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I have just returned from Wales and spent a wonderful day at Tenby in Wales.  It is such a special place – beautiful beaches, interesting and colourful buildings, stunning views.  There is a good holiday vibe in the summer with many tourists but even during the school holidays this week the beach was not crowded.  I would love to visit in the winter when it is quiet, some would perhaps say bleak, but it is a place where there is so much natural beauty – a truly spiritual place to experience.

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Puppydays – Isle of Sheppey seaside

I’m excited to be back on WordPress after spending yesterday helping my friend Artist Julie Bradshaw with her own blog (more on that in another post).  It’s given me the incentive to get back on here, I’ve really missed it.  There’s been a lot going on in my life keeping me busy, mainly getting back to university after my debilitating illness throughout 2015, trying to catch up on what I have missed and keeping up with working on my modules so that I can complete my second year and progress to my final year.  But … one of the most exciting, heartwarming and life changing things has been having the new addition to our family, Jasmine our chocolate labrador puppy.

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It had been a possible intention to do a separate blog, or create a YouTube channel, for my puppy and tell her story from when she was born throughout her early days and beyond.  But the reality is that when Jasmine arrived home, I can only liken it to having a new baby with all the routines and care of looking after a new life.  Jasmine is a joy to look after but much as I wanted to take lots of beautiful photos, most important is to enjoy and be with her and the camera sort of goes out the window a lot of the time (and has luckily escaped the clutches of Jasmine’s teeth!).  I have taken quite a few photos but they are not the ‘perfect’ puppy photos I had imagined – but then Jasmine to me is perfect in every photo because it is her.  So at various points I will share some of the earlier photos and I’m sure she will appear in future posts as we enjoy the summer together.

So for now, here are a few photos of our trip the other day to the seaside on the Isle of Sheppey in Kent.  It was a glorious if slightly chilly day and there were surprisingly few people about.  I do enjoy finding these gems of places that are not so far away from my home and I wonder why I don’t visit more often.  I love the seaside and Jasmine really enjoyed her visit, despite having her nose to the ground most of the time.   But perhaps that’s a sure sign of happiness for a dog!

 

 

 

Off the beaten track in the Kent Downs, England with a visit to an art studio and The Black Horse Inn at Thurnham

Copyright Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright Kay/wavesandpebbles

I had a few hours to spare so went for a drive in the Kent countryside with nowhere particular in mind.  I was on a busy dual carriageway and waiting for something to lure me away.  A sign for Hucking Estate showed a place for walks and picnics, so I flicked my indicator and headed off into the narrow lanes and tree tunnels.  A nightmare I usually avoid, dreading coming face to face with a vehicle that will be obstinate and refuse to back away.  I hate reversing especially if someone is edging towards me impatiently.  But thankfully that was in my mind, it didn’t actually happen.  I stopped by the roadside to take photos which on their own do not do justice in conveying the splendorous views that surrounded me amidst peace on that cool sunny autumn day.

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

I noticed a sign at a vague crossroads to an Art Studio.  Intrigued, as I love discovering unexpected places, I followed the sign until I came to a dilemma.  A choice of a no through road or turn off to the right.  Well, I thought, it is perhaps most likely along the no through road and at least I will come to an end, whereas the other road could take me who knows how far.  Mere seconds along the no through road and I was regretting my choice.  There were no passing points, nowhere to go if another vehicle appeared, especially if it was a tractor, and no way I could reverse unless I could manage a straight (or curving) line.  Recalling a theme within a book I am reading*, I tried to convince myself that it was less boring to follow this road and that I must let my fear ride alongside and ignore it.  I eventually arrived at a farm where there were lots of tractors and the people living there came out to see me.  It was good to meet a friendly face and I was reassured that there were no tractors due to arrive and if another vehicle did appear, it was possible to somehow squeeze past.  I was kindly given directions to the Art Studio which was but a few minutes away.

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

And so I came to arrive at This Art of Mine Arts & Craft Studio.  I was welcomed by a friendly dog from the neighbouring house and discovered that the Studio was in fact closed but there was someone there.  I was welcomed in and had a guided tour, discovering a wonderful place that offered workshops (which included decorating pottery and jewellery making) and also an area dedicated to open access to just turn up and pay as you paint pottery.  It was really spacious and light, with plenty of examples of work that had already been done.

When I left, I decided to carry on and head back to the main road.  In doing so, I ended up arriving at one of my favourite restaurants, The Black Horse Inn at Thurnham that I had not visited in a long while.

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

I wasn’t hungry when I arrived so had a lemonade and sat outside on the terrace in the sunshine.  Enticed by the daily special menu, I lengthened my stay and enjoyed a tasty three course lunch ending with a luscious Creme Brûlée.

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandnpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandnpebbles

I was full and sat relaxing, reading my book in the cosy historic atmosphere of the Inn.

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

The Black Horse Inn is licensed for Marriages and Civil Ceremonies.  It is a beautiful place with a special landscaped area for ceremonies.  There is also accommodation that can be booked.  Ideal for wedding guests or if you are having a special celebration and want to be able to have a drink and not worry about driving home, or if you are visiting the area and want somewhere different to stay.

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

I am including the following photo as it shows more of the immense outdoor areas available.  The sun was so bright that the angle I took it has affected it but in black and white it does provide you with a picture of what it is like – perhaps it adds a hint of romance.

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

The Black Horse Inn is a very friendly and welcoming public house and restaurant (with accommodation) and I thoroughly recommend a visit if you find yourself in the area of Maidstone in Kent, England.  Their website can be found here.

I never ended up on the Hucking Estate but information on this Woodland Trust area, and other areas within the Kent Downs – AnArea of Outstanding Natural Beauty – can be found here www.kentdowns.org.uk.

This Art of Mine Art & Craft Studio – information can be found here.

The book I am reading is Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear, written by Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Eat Pray Love.  Here is a link to The The Guardian Q & A with the author.

Living on Water – Chatham Maritime, Kent, England

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

The other day I was at Chatham Maritime with time to spare and decided to take a few photos.  The people who live at the top of the blocks of apartments must have an amazing view.  There is much going on in the area to appeal to different interests and it is continually growing.  There is a large university campus with three universities, Chatham Historic Dockyard, Dickensworld, cinema and numerous restaurants.

Copyright Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles