“Wondering” … from The Untrapped Butterfly (a different way to declutter paper and share your little life stories)

1 January 20241 January 2024 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

Source: *The Untrapped Butterfly* by Kay Underdown

This new book, The Untrapped Butterfly, reflections on life and photo memories, has been created as part of a personal paper decluttering process and offers, by example, a different way to share little life stories.

The words are short extracts from past journal writing (shredding the remainder) coupled with personal photos that instinctively felt right for the words and each having their own stories hidden within.

The words reflect my inner thoughts at the time they were written across the years. Much is left unsaid but when sharing the book with others, numerous stories may emerge. Although the words are not titled in the book, I have called this extract “Wondering” and it stood out to me as the one to share while celebrating the New Year, with the reflective processes that this often prompts.

Wondering

As I sit here under the leaves

I wonder what new adventure awaits me

Wondering allows the moments to pass

while dwelling on that which brings

a sense of unknowingness,

indecision and hopelessness

Yet, if I so choose, wondering leads to the

magic of dreams not yet imagined that bring

a sense of excitement, possibility,

and a world awaiting our hidden talents

to emerge and spread their wings

The selected photo was taken while on a road trip around the UK in 2017 with my youngest daughter. We had just had a short stay at Kirkcudbright, the historic artists’ town of Scotland. This was when I met my friend and book collaborator, Scottish fine artist Stewart Morrison. I happened across a sign directing me along a path to a garden studio and we made a connection due to each of our interests. We have since created two “Drawn by the Sea” books based mainly on Stewart’s art, one on the Isle of Thanet where I was living at the time and researching for a university visual sociology assignment at Stone Bay (published in 2019) and one about a journey around the coast of Scotland which we created from a distance across the miles in 2020 and included contributions by Stewart’s friends and one of my friends in Thanet as she had written about Crail, the place in the little painting I bought from Stewart in 2017.

Back to the road trip and photo … my daughter looked at the map and picked out the next place to stay as she was drawn by its name … Ravenstonedale. It turned out to be the most peaceful and beautiful place and the photo was take while walking and climbing over stone walls following a footpath. Just realised there is a common theme here not before noticed … stone!

The cover is a photo I took at my favourite bay in Broadstairs, Kent on the Isle of Thanet – Stone Bay. I love books and it gives me so much joy creating a book that means much to me. I have learnt so much over the past few years about how much different forms of creativity help with my mental health and wellbeing and have often observed the same in others. I have always loved taking photos from childhood, and have dabbled in drawing, painting, digital storytelling and thread journalling over recent years.

I love this photo which I felt was perfect for the book’s reflective nature
… no butterfly in sight but one day it hopes to revisit Stone Bay

The book is available online “The Untrapped Butterfly. Reflections on life and photo memories” by Kay Underdown and was self-published in December 2023. (Waves and Pebbles Publishing). It is a small, slim book. Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference in life. It is for those who wish to be inspired and come up with their own thoughts and ideas of what they would like to do. It is not a ‘how to’ book … writing on the pages of the book is encouraged.

I am starting the New Year with fresh intentions but no promises, I have learnt the need for freedom, spontaneity and authenticity. My true wish is for unknown adventures to evolve in line with my values where my family, friends, nature and belonging are so important. My dreams and wishes will provide some kind of compass to guide me along the most interesting and fulfilling paths and enable me to contribute in the long-term to the wellbeing of others.

Wishing you all the best for the New Year … remember what is truly important to you and I hope that the coming months will reflect that in your life and bring you joy and contentment,

Kay

Ripples: belonging through journaled poems and photo memories

22 June 202322 June 2023 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

A repurposed work-in-progress painting of my garden where I used to live by the sea provides the background to my new self-published book. Far left, three little boxes of light can just be seen where I painted my shed windows

Journaled poems

I first wrote a poem when I started writing Morning Pages (Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way). It somehow just flowed onto the page as I wrote my three pages of free writing. It was a poem to me, but not in the sense of a proper poem written by a poet. However, it was very personal and special to me. Since that time I have written quite a number of such poems, especially when I was going through a period of depression. I’ve always referred to them as my doomy gloomy poems. I kept these for a long while as although they were a bit gloomy, by the end of the poem I was turning things around so they had a positive slant. This all happened at the time I decided to write. I would start writing something, often deciding to have a set number of syllables and rhyming line endings but no set pattern, just spontaneous decisions which carried through until the poem was finished. I would say that during that time, at least part of it, I was in flow, I became immersed in what I was doing and lost all track of time.

I haven’t written many in recent years and they tend not to be so gloomy. From time to time I have gone through them and wanted to do something with them. I compiled a draft book with them all in, in alphabetical order, but it just wasn’t doing it for me. There was nothing special about it, no special meaning for me. So I put it aside.

Photo memories

I thought about having the poems illustrated. I’m no artist but I do love taking photos, they are like my diary of life. So one day I just came up with the idea of choosing one of my photos to go with each poem, with their own linked memory. Alongside this, I had decided to select my favourites and ten seemed to be the perfect number. One poem is a haiku written during a creative workshop, the rest are journaled poems written quietly, either at home or in a local cafe … or in one case, on a train when it was delayed and stuck in the middle of the countryside.

Some months after, I have given the book a name and am self-publishing under my Waves and Pebbles imprint. It is a tiny book with few pages but it has ended up meaning so much to me. I decided to write just a couple of pages of endnotes that say a little about the memories.

Repurposed painting

I recently started doing a mixed media mantra art course with artist Kelly Rae Roberts and that has got me back into playing around with paint. One day I decided to paint over a large canvas of a painting I did en plein air in the garden where I used to live and have ended up with the work-in-progress painting shown in the picture. I decided this was perfect for my book cover and just added a blob for the back cover to represent the sun and remind me of the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that I experienced when I lived on the beautiful Isle of Thanet coast in the south east of England.

The blob makes all the difference to the back cover!

I’m excited to say that the book dropped through my door a couple of days ago. It will be online, official publication date was yesterday – a year on from my last book “Writing Back to Happiness” written in collaboration with four wonderful ladies in Thanet. I notice that some countries already have it available but it has not yet worked through the system to be everywhere and will appear in time. I’m not sure how other people may experience “Ripples” A journey through belonging 10 poems with personal photos and endnotes (by Kay Underdown) but for me it helps show a different way of representing personal memories and preserving them for the future.

Self-publishing – pricing dilemma

I have found it very difficult to put a price on this book as it is very slim. Often we are guided by the size of something in putting a monetary value on things yet if I think of what else you could buy for so little, it is not very much. For me, I will treasure my little book with the memories it holds safe for me and provides the starting point for more little stories in life, whether written or visual. More recently, I have explored sound and music in telling a digital story in relation to my personal experience of cancer … but that is definitely for another post.

Waves – sea therapy from afar

29 August 2022 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

I recently took the opportunity, while on a holiday road trip, to visit Hornsea, a small seaside town on the beautiful Yorkshire coastline in England. The following piece of writing emerged (unedited).

“Waves have the power to entrance and refresh, to bring us close in to nature. They devour our stressful feelings and bring an inner depth of awe into our world. The fresh salty air, the constant yet rhythmic movement that rises and falls and moves in and out of our lives.

Braving the waters, there is nothing like being swept up and down within the gentleness of a calm yet revolving sea. To allow oneself to drift within its soothing hug before returning refreshed to the damp pillowed sandy and pebbly shore.

To catch first sight of the waves crashing against the shore is heaven embodied. It draws me in. As each rise swells to a crashing crescendo nothing else matters. This is life. This is all that is needed to wipe the worries away.

Waves are forever there despite them being far away. Their energy may lay dormant within us until we allow ourselves to be within their power, within their being, whether through our own visionary imagination or immersing ourselves in seascapes that effervesce with the sense of the sea, providing a source of sea therapy that is open to all who wish to offer themselves to it.

Sea therapy is for all, regardless of whether you are by the sea, if you have had personal experience of it, it stays within waiting to be given the key to open up your dreams of a life blessed by the sea.”

Not so long ago I moved away from the sea and now live next door to the Peak District National Park with its stunning mountainous scenery. I knew that I would miss the sea yet I have learnt that by remaining connected through my interests, friends, photos, projects and writing, I can still feel the benefits of that connection, that sense of belonging. A while ago I discovered reference to some research that backed this up, that if you have personally experienced being by the sea then the benefits can still remain with you. I now know personally that I can tap into this feeling whenever I choose and when I am able to visit the seaside it is the most amazing feeling and something that I will forever look forward to.

I didn’t realise until I was writing this post that the Peak District was the first National Park, created in 1951 (there is much history behind this which makes me realise how lucky we are to have the freedom to explore such a wonderful area). By the end of the decade the Lake District, Snowdonia, Dartmoor, the Pembrokeshire Coast, North York Moors, Yorkshire Dales, Exmoor, Northumberland and Brecon Beacons had also become national parks. https://www.peakdistrict.gov.uk/learning-about/about-the-national-park/our-history.

Dealing with the unexpected

29 January 202229 January 2022 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

On a day trip last week-end, I ended up at a wonderful place by the coast in North Wales. I had set off for the seaside and a much needed drive along the coast. I was not disappointed and captured photos of some beautiful places, some of which I will share in other posts.

Shortly before making our way home, we came across a small group of goats heading somewhat purposefully along the broad pavement. They were all headed in the same direction and it was difficult to see their faces. When they came to the corner they all stopped and just stood there, as if waiting to cross the road but not making a decision to do so. Cars slowed to give them space but they remained static as we passed by.

It was strange seeing them there, I didn’t expect to see mountain goats wandering about town. Except they didn’t seem to be wandering and I was intrigued by what they had in mind.

My initial feeling of surprise was mixed with wonder, it was a good feeling and I really wanted to savour the moment. Yet it was touched with wariness and caution – I didn’t want to get out and take a photo and I didn’t wish to disturb their perhaps perplexed focus on the road, an open but risky barrier to whatever their goal may have been.

As I relax on a Saturday morning I enjoy reflecting back on my photos and seeing where they lead me. The images of the goats have led me to reflect on dealing with the unexpected.

Sometimes things happen in a moment of communication, it may be a letter, email, knock on the door, telephone call or a random connection with a stranger while out and about. Something that stops us in our tracks, that interrupts our expected and comfortable path, even if that is an unknown path, such as my spontaneous road trips when I may get lost … as had happened when I discovered the goats! Oftentimes I have a vague aim in mind but I am willing to be drawn off-track especially if it may offer opportunities for intriguing discovery.

The things that can really knock us off track can be those that are totally unexpected or those that we didn’t see coming in quite the way that they did. It is at these times it is so important for our own self-care to just stop and pause, allow ourselves to take things in, like the mountain goats at the road junction. To stop and allow ourselves to just breathe and do what we need to do in that moment before we make a choice.

When faced with a junction in your life, take the time that you need to either make a choice or wait until the time is right for you to make that choice. It is your own life to live and even when we feel that we have no choice, or there is nothing that we can do, if we give ourselves the moments we need to just take things in, ponder the options we know about and allow time for those options we may not be aware of to reveal themselves, we will be better placed to make the decision that is right for us.

Sometimes we don’t have to make a decision even if others are pressurising us to do things we don’t want to do. We may eventually have to make a choice but the timing of that is our choice, it’s our life and our path. No-one knows another person’s world. No-one. They may think they do but we are unique with our own roots that lead to such a beautiful array of essences within the world.

This past week has been such a mix of emotions and I have been so privileged to spend time doing something that is so important to me. My younger self would never have imagined that I would still be finding new and valuable learning paths that have the potential to make so much difference to people’s lives.

So it’s the start of another week-end, a journey of opportunity.

As we passed the mountain goats we wondered if they would be OK, would they be stuck where they were. We went off our own route and stopped to ask the way, being rewarded by a beautiful late afternoon seascape and connecting with local people who helpfully pointed us in the right direction.

We continued on our way and joyfully came across the goats once more, this time having made their way to a new spot where they felt comfortable to spread out and wander into the much quieter road. They looked content, they had found their way even if that was just for now. And that’s OK.

Lost but still time to capture a photo of this beautiful spot and connect with local dog walkers who helped us find our route home

Drawn by the Sea 2020: Scottish Coastal Communities

28 August 202021 May 2022 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

Tobermory. Copyright Stewart Morrison 2020

I am excited to report that the second art book I have created with Scottish artist Stewart Morrison has just been self-published using my Waves and Pebbles Publishing imprint. If you are lucky enough to come across Stewart in the historic Artists’ Town of Kirkcudbright you will have a chance to buy one of the first copies. You may also come across Stewart as he starts to revisit some of his favourite places nearby.

It has been quite a journey and the book is very special. The idea originally came from Stewart in January as an idea for a follow up to our first book that was about a collaborative art project involving Stewart creating art inspired by the beautiful Thanet coast where I live. By March we were well into the third draft of the book on Scotland with friends offering to provide written contributions. Then lockdown struck and there was uncertainty.

I was much relieved when Stewart agreed to continue and it has provided a welcome focus. The book covers an artist’s journey in mind, starting in Kirkcudbright, travelling up the west coast and down the east coast before returning across country to Kirkcudbright. I decided to work out how long the journey was and surprised to discover it was around 2,500 miles and 100 hours of car travel – so it is my dream journey when I can take off for a few months and have a very extended holiday. Perhaps a working one doing life story writing workshops along the way! It was lovely to discover such a variety of places, each with their own character. The book includes Stewart’s art over the past five years and written memories of his own going back over 50 years to his childhood. Friends have shared special poems and memories of the places that the journey takes us to, roughly 20 East and 20 West coastal communities.

I hope you may get a chance to see a copy soon. I have a small supply myself for when I am getting out and about more near Broadstairs in Kent, England and we have plans to publish an online version. In the meantime, I am including a few photos here. If you have any questions either for myself or Stewart, please let me know in the comments or email me kay@wavesandpebbles.com.

Scalpay. Copyright Stewart Morrison 2020

en plein air – my little piece of country by the sea

13 June 2020 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

My little piece of country … Copyright Kay Underdown/WavesandPebbles 2018

I’ve just discovered this unfinished post that I left hanging around in my WordPress blog waiting to be finished back in 2018. I had only just started the words but the title and photo are very relevant to me now, in June 2020 during the UK lockdown. This is now where I spend most of my time when I am outdoors.

I painted this picture back in 2018 when my artist friend Stewart suggested I go to the local beach and paint en plein air. Not being a painter, I was somewhat horrified at the suggestion, the thought of people watching my childlike attempts to paint. Yet I loved the essence of painting outdoors. So I set up a table in my garden, retrieved paints from the shed, a cheap canvas I had purchased with good intentions some while back and sat down to paint.

I became totally absorbed for what must have been a couple of hours. I enjoyed selecting and swirling around the colours and actually seeing my garden from a different perspective. By the end, it gave me a good feeling and now sits in my conservatory, a happy reminder of that time and maybe the picture will remain with me as a memory of where I lived whenever I may move on in the future.

It may not be a work of art, and I should have known when to stop as I decided to add more layers, but if you have never tried painting or drawing in your garden, or even indoors in your home (there is another blog on here when I started sketching my lounge) then I do urge you to have a go and see how it makes you feel and it is a wonderful way to capture memories.

Only this week I had a one to one art class for the first time on Zoom. I was amazed that I actually managed to draw some fruit that resembled in some way what it was. Using the Zoom platform worked really well. It took some thought beforehand how to arrange everything so my teacher could see what I was doing and I could watch her but it led to a very relaxed and enjoyable session. Towards the end we explored a fun way of mixing watercolours to result in a visual guide to the different shades that could be achieved.

During my lesson, I showed my new teacher a small piece of art I created that is very special to me. It is what I consider a childlike picture of a house on the beach, a depiction of a dream I had some years back of wanting to live by the sea (now achieved in 2017). The picture led her to talk to me about the genre of Naive Art, a term I had never heard of, that is described by the National Association of Naive Artists as “a simplistic charm and humorous vitality … created all over the world, by men and women from all walks of life, who have had no formal training” (www.britishnaives.co.uk). She also showed me a wonderful book of such art and I am now intrigued to discover more about it and maybe it is something that I can aspire to. Membership of the Association is by a submission process but there is a Facebook group which I believe is open to anyone to apply to join.

My seaside dream Copyright Kay Underdown 2020

I have found the lockdown to be a time for reflection, an opportunity to explore different avenues and to focus on what is important to me. Having said that, it has not been the easiest time to concentrate or to be creative with my writing. I believe in taking this time day by day and realising what is most important in life. A time to live in a way that reflects your values.

Sending good wishes to everyone who reads this post and I hope you stay well and are able to find ways to live your life in a way that brings you contentment during this difficult time the world finds itself in.

Kay

The unfinished picture

27 December 2017 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

I was at the start of a challenge. A challenge I had brought on myself one morning when I had asked a friend to encourage me to do something each day for 30 days to enhance my creativity, to get me doing some painting or drawing.

I am in no way an artist but I do enjoy the process of getting lost in time creating something, exploring different shapes but especially colours. I feel that I experience ‘flow’ when I truly allow myself the time and space. My thoughts drift in and out of the day, to and fro between the past and future, with everything in the now focussed on my creation.

I love taking photos but there is something different about taking a blank piece of paper that transforms in minutes with just pencil, pen, felt tips or paint. It is very personal, not something I would usually share with the world. But what I wanted to share was the story of my experience. How this 30 day artist’s challenge on Facebook (because that is what happened!) really got me thinking about how little sketches captured a fragment of my life at a particular point in time. Sometimes we may think that art is only for those who have the gift to create, but we are missing out on so much if we never venture into this special world.

Just by looking at this picture now, done back in November, there is so much that can spring from it personally for me.

Each little mark or object can be the starting point for a different story. To start with, it reminds me of a long-distance friendship that has developed from a brief encounter on a road trip in the Summer.

The border lines marked at intervals remind me of the sharing of knowledge by a very talented artist, which led me to create viewfinders from cereal boxes to help get everything in the right place in the picture.

The fireplace is one of the features of the lovely home in which I am currently living and only in the past week found out more about its history and that the place where I sat drawing this picture used to be a hairdressing salon.

The little plaque above the fireplace was a gift from my dear mum and dad when they visited Las Vegas, and the little wooden plate below the wall lights another gift from them when they visited Austria. This reminds me of fond memories of a holiday with my parents in Austria in the snow when I was just 16 years old, staying in Mayrhofen when I had the opportunity to learn to ski-bob and what fun that was. I later went on a cheap coach trip to the same place and had a wonderful summer holiday, getting a chairlift up into the mountains. I recall the magical feeling of being literally on top of a mountain, the amazing peace and sense of freedom. This turned out to be the calm before the storm, realising that zig zags on the map of a real mountain equate to a very lengthy and exhausting ramble downhill which left us painfully achy the next morning!

All this from an unfinished picture, and that is just the start …

I must admit I didn’t complete the whole challenge but really think I have benefited from the experience. I may share one or two more of my pictures if anyone is interested. The one I am most proud of is one that is very childlike in nature – a painting done from a photo – but for me represents so much that is important to me.

All it takes is some blank paper and your choice of pencil, felt-tips, paints etc. Have a go and see where it leads you, what stories come to your mind from what you create. If you are used to writing as your medium for creation, see how this can bring a new layer to your life. Go out into the world and see what draws you in, or sit in the comfort of your home and let the memories drift onto the page.

Canary Wharf, London, England

26 September 201528 September 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

I went for a train ride yesterday and ended up at Canary Wharf. I had hoped to see some of the 15 street pianos that were there but I somehow missed them.

It turned out to be a beautiful sunny day and I took a few photos. I arrived on the Docklands Light Railway, which is strange as I was sitting facing forward and could see ahead into the other carriages so could see the train swinging from side to side unlike the old London underground trains where you sit down the sides facing the people opposite and can’t see the other carriages. This has changed on the new underground trains, they are more spacious so at less busy times you can walk though the carriages and see them curving round.

Canary Wharf had a great atmosphere outside in the early evening and I discovered an Italian restaurant that I would really like to visit Amerigo Vespucci, it had a very enticing menu. It is a restaurant with an alfresco bar open with tables and chairs on the terrace overlooking the water.

I happened to be on Twitter this morning and linked through to someone who had favourited one of my tweets. His latest tweet was on visual storytelling and microblogging. On clicking through to his article, I discovered the app Steller (which is free) and had a go at using it. Here is the link to my first ‘story’ on Canary Wharf https://steller.co/s/4ukCuGNSfbR. If for some reason this doesn’t work visit me on Twitter – see link to the right. This app can really tell a story. There are different themes and you can write text either separate from, or on, the photos.

The original Tweet was mainly about a different, new (updated) visual storytelling app Storehouse. I am just downloading that now for free and hope to blog about it soon. Social media and it’s related parts are really eating into my time and I daren’t go there this morning else the day will be gone but I am really enjoying finding out more about it all.

Here are just a few more photos of some of the buildings.