“Wondering” … from The Untrapped Butterfly (a different way to declutter paper and share your little life stories)

Source: The Untrapped Butterfly by Kay Underdown

This new book, The Untrapped Butterfly, reflections on life and photo memories, has been created as part of a personal paper decluttering process and offers, by example, a different way to share little life stories.

The words are short extracts from past journal writing (shredding the remainder) coupled with personal photos that instinctively felt right for the words and each having their own stories hidden within.

The words reflect my inner thoughts at the time they were written across the years. Much is left unsaid but when sharing the book with others, numerous stories may emerge. Although the words are not titled in the book, I have called this extract “Wondering” and it stood out to me as the one to share while celebrating the New Year, with the reflective processes that this often prompts.

Wondering

As I sit here under the leaves

I wonder what new adventure awaits me

Wondering allows the moments to pass

while dwelling on that which brings

a sense of unknowingness,

indecision and hopelessness

Yet, if I so choose, wondering leads to the

magic of dreams not yet imagined that bring

a sense of excitement, possibility,

and a world awaiting our hidden talents

to emerge and spread their wings

The selected photo was taken while on a road trip around the UK in 2017 with my youngest daughter. We had just had a short stay at Kirkcudbright, the historic artists’ town of Scotland. This was when I met my friend and book collaborator, Scottish fine artist Stewart Morrison. I happened across a sign directing me along a path to a garden studio and we made a connection due to each of our interests. We have since created two “Drawn by the Sea” books based mainly on Stewart’s art, one on the Isle of Thanet where I was living at the time and researching for a university visual sociology assignment at Stone Bay (published in 2019) and one about a journey around the coast of Scotland which we created from a distance across the miles in 2020 and included contributions by Stewart’s friends and one of my friends in Thanet as she had written about Crail, the place in the little painting I bought from Stewart in 2017.

Back to the road trip and photo … my daughter looked at the map and picked out the next place to stay as she was drawn by its name … Ravenstonedale. It turned out to be the most peaceful and beautiful place and the photo was take while walking and climbing over stone walls following a footpath. Just realised there is a common theme here not before noticed … stone!

The cover is a photo I took at my favourite bay in Broadstairs, Kent on the Isle of Thanet – Stone Bay. I love books and it gives me so much joy creating a book that means much to me. I have learnt so much over the past few years about how much different forms of creativity help with my mental health and wellbeing and have often observed the same in others. I have always loved taking photos from childhood, and have dabbled in drawing, painting, digital storytelling and thread journalling over recent years.

I love this photo which I felt was perfect for the book’s reflective nature
… no butterfly in sight but one day it hopes to revisit Stone Bay

The book is available online “The Untrapped Butterfly. Reflections on life and photo memories” by Kay Underdown and was self-published in December 2023. (Waves and Pebbles Publishing). It is a small, slim book. Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference in life. It is for those who wish to be inspired and come up with their own thoughts and ideas of what they would like to do. It is not a ‘how to’ book … writing on the pages of the book is encouraged.

I am starting the New Year with fresh intentions but no promises, I have learnt the need for freedom, spontaneity and authenticity. My true wish is for unknown adventures to evolve in line with my values where my family, friends, nature and belonging are so important. My dreams and wishes will provide some kind of compass to guide me along the most interesting and fulfilling paths and enable me to contribute in the long-term to the wellbeing of others.

Wishing you all the best for the New Year … remember what is truly important to you and I hope that the coming months will reflect that in your life and bring you joy and contentment,

Kay

Ripples: belonging through journaled poems and photo memories

A repurposed work-in-progress painting of my garden where I used to live by the sea provides the background to my new self-published book. Far left, three little boxes of light can just be seen where I painted my shed windows

Journaled poems

I first wrote a poem when I started writing Morning Pages (Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way). It somehow just flowed onto the page as I wrote my three pages of free writing. It was a poem to me, but not in the sense of a proper poem written by a poet. However, it was very personal and special to me. Since that time I have written quite a number of such poems, especially when I was going through a period of depression. I’ve always referred to them as my doomy gloomy poems. I kept these for a long while as although they were a bit gloomy, by the end of the poem I was turning things around so they had a positive slant. This all happened at the time I decided to write. I would start writing something, often deciding to have a set number of syllables and rhyming line endings but no set pattern, just spontaneous decisions which carried through until the poem was finished. I would say that during that time, at least part of it, I was in flow, I became immersed in what I was doing and lost all track of time.

I haven’t written many in recent years and they tend not to be so gloomy. From time to time I have gone through them and wanted to do something with them. I compiled a draft book with them all in, in alphabetical order, but it just wasn’t doing it for me. There was nothing special about it, no special meaning for me. So I put it aside.

Photo memories

I thought about having the poems illustrated. I’m no artist but I do love taking photos, they are like my diary of life. So one day I just came up with the idea of choosing one of my photos to go with each poem, with their own linked memory. Alongside this, I had decided to select my favourites and ten seemed to be the perfect number. One poem is a haiku written during a creative workshop, the rest are journaled poems written quietly, either at home or in a local cafe … or in one case, on a train when it was delayed and stuck in the middle of the countryside.

Some months after, I have given the book a name and am self-publishing under my Waves and Pebbles imprint. It is a tiny book with few pages but it has ended up meaning so much to me. I decided to write just a couple of pages of endnotes that say a little about the memories.

Repurposed painting

I recently started doing a mixed media mantra art course with artist Kelly Rae Roberts and that has got me back into playing around with paint. One day I decided to paint over a large canvas of a painting I did en plein air in the garden where I used to live and have ended up with the work-in-progress painting shown in the picture. I decided this was perfect for my book cover and just added a blob for the back cover to represent the sun and remind me of the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that I experienced when I lived on the beautiful Isle of Thanet coast in the south east of England.

The blob makes all the difference to the back cover!

I’m excited to say that the book dropped through my door a couple of days ago. It will be online, official publication date was yesterday – a year on from my last book “Writing Back to Happiness” written in collaboration with four wonderful ladies in Thanet. I notice that some countries already have it available but it has not yet worked through the system to be everywhere and will appear in time. I’m not sure how other people may experience “Ripples” A journey through belonging 10 poems with personal photos and endnotes (by Kay Underdown) but for me it helps show a different way of representing personal memories and preserving them for the future.

Self-publishing – pricing dilemma

I have found it very difficult to put a price on this book as it is very slim. Often we are guided by the size of something in putting a monetary value on things yet if I think of what else you could buy for so little, it is not very much. For me, I will treasure my little book with the memories it holds safe for me and provides the starting point for more little stories in life, whether written or visual. More recently, I have explored sound and music in telling a digital story in relation to my personal experience of cancer … but that is definitely for another post.

Writing Back to Happiness … How to write the little stories in life by Kay Underdown

A very special collaboration with four lovely ladies on the Isle of Thanet by the beautiful Kent coast in England

It means so much to me to be able to share this picture of my long-awaited book, a collaboration with four wonderful ladies in my writing group on the Isle of Thanet in Kent, England. It was due to be completed in 2020 but it just wasn’t happening. I do believe that the right time comes and by waiting it has become even more than I hoped it would be and with the cover designed by my eldest daughter Jessica.

This little book represents what I am about, inspiring people to write and share the little stories in life with the benefits to wellbeing this can bring. Included is a selection of life coaching exercises for self-coaching appearing throughout the book. It’s one to dip into with a notebook and pen to hand to capture what thoughts come to mind.

I’ve self-published the book using my own Waves and Pebbles Publishing imprint and at the moment copies will be available directly through me. It is a little book but one that I hope will make a big difference, resulting in many special memories being captured and shared.

There are many writing prompts that you can take wherever you wish, don’t try and stick to the original prompt, let your mind wander. You don’t even need to be a writer to use this book, if you like you can draw instead (though I haven’t covered drawing in the book). It’s surprising what appears on the page in just five minutes if you allow the pen to just move across the paper without self-judgement.

I’ve just created a new page on Facebook – Writing Back to Happiness – which I hope will be available online later today. Please do follow my page. I intend to do some Facebook lives based on the book which will be starting soon and I will come back here to talk more about what is happening.

I hope you are enjoying your week-end. Kay 💐

One Picture So Many Stories

Today, feeling somewhat reflective, I decided to revisit my blog and discovered an unpublished draft that shared the link to a guest blog post I wrote last summer. I was really pleased to be invited by Suzanne of Raising Midlife Vibrations to do this and the post ended up being my journey through writing. Whilst I am rather late in sharing this, I do believe that sometimes this happens for a reason – yet to be revealed! If you find this post helpful at this time I would love to hear from you. The link to my post is below and I thoroughly recommend you take time to explore Suzanne’s wonderful blog.

https://raisingmidlifevibrations.com/one-picture-so-many-stories/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=one-picture-so-many-stories

Drawn by the Sea 2020: Scottish Coastal Communities

Tobermory. Copyright Stewart Morrison 2020

I am excited to report that the second art book I have created with Scottish artist Stewart Morrison has just been self-published using my Waves and Pebbles Publishing imprint. If you are lucky enough to come across Stewart in the historic Artists’ Town of Kirkcudbright you will have a chance to buy one of the first copies. You may also come across Stewart as he starts to revisit some of his favourite places nearby.

Artist Stewart Morrison

It has been quite a journey and the book is very special. The idea originally came from Stewart in January as an idea for a follow up to our first book that was about a collaborative art project involving Stewart creating art inspired by the beautiful Thanet coast where I live. By March we were well into the third draft of the book on Scotland with friends offering to provide written contributions. Then lockdown struck and there was uncertainty.

The Book!

I was much relieved when Stewart agreed to continue and it has provided a welcome focus. The book covers an artist’s journey in mind, starting in Kirkcudbright, travelling up the west coast and down the east coast before returning across country to Kirkcudbright. I decided to work out how long the journey was and surprised to discover it was around 2,500 miles and 100 hours of car travel – so it is my dream journey when I can take off for a few months and have a very extended holiday. Perhaps a working one doing life story writing workshops along the way! It was lovely to discover such a variety of places, each with their own character. The book includes Stewart’s art over the past five years and written memories of his own going back over 50 years to his childhood. Friends have shared special poems and memories of the places that the journey takes us to, roughly 20 East and 20 West coastal communities.

I hope you may get a chance to see a copy soon. I have a small supply myself for when I am getting out and about more near Broadstairs in Kent, England and we have plans to publish an online version. In the meantime, I am including a few photos here. If you have any questions either for myself or Stewart, please let me know in the comments or email me kay@wavesandpebbles.com.

Scalpay. Copyright Stewart Morrison 2020

en plein air – my little piece of country by the sea

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My little piece of country … Copyright Kay Underdown/WavesandPebbles 2018

I’ve just discovered this unfinished post that I left hanging around in my WordPress blog waiting to be finished back in 2018. I had only just started the words but the title and photo are very relevant to me now, in June 2020 during the UK lockdown. This is now where I spend most of my time when I am outdoors.

I painted this picture back in 2018 when my artist friend Stewart suggested I go to the local beach and paint en plein air. Not being a painter, I was somewhat horrified at the suggestion, the thought of people watching my childlike attempts to paint. Yet I loved the essence of painting outdoors. So I set up a table in my garden, retrieved paints from the shed, a cheap canvas I had purchased with good intentions some while back and sat down to paint.

I became totally absorbed for what must have been a couple of hours. I enjoyed selecting and swirling around the colours and actually seeing my garden from a different perspective. By the end, it gave me a good feeling and now sits in my conservatory, a happy reminder of that time and maybe the picture will remain with me as a memory of where I lived whenever I may move on in the future.

It may not be a work of art, and I should have known when to stop as I decided to add more layers, but if you have never tried painting or drawing in your garden, or even indoors in your home (there is another blog on here when I started sketching my lounge) then I do urge you to have a go and see how it makes you feel and it is a wonderful way to capture memories.

Only this week I had a one to one art class for the first time on Zoom. I was amazed that I actually managed to draw some fruit that resembled in some way what it was. Using the Zoom platform worked really well. It took some thought beforehand how to arrange everything so my teacher could see what I was doing and I could watch her but it led to a very relaxed and enjoyable session. Towards the end we explored a fun way of mixing watercolours to result in a visual guide to the different shades that could be achieved.

During my lesson, I showed my new teacher a small piece of art I created that is very special to me. It is what I consider a childlike picture of a house on the beach, a depiction of a dream I had some years back of wanting to live by the sea (now achieved in 2017). The picture led her to talk to me about the genre of Naive Art, a term I had never heard of, that is described by the National Association of Naive Artists as “a simplistic charm and humorous vitality … created all over the world, by men and women from all walks of life, who have had no formal training” (www.britishnaives.co.uk). She also showed me a wonderful book of such art and I am now intrigued to discover more about it and maybe it is something that I can aspire to. Membership of the Association is by a submission process but there is a Facebook group which I believe is open to anyone to apply to join.

My seaside dream Copyright Kay Underdown 2020

I have found the lockdown to be a time for reflection, an opportunity to explore different avenues and to focus on what is important to me. Having said that, it has not been the easiest time to concentrate or to be creative with my writing. I believe in taking this time day by day and realising what is most important in life. A time to live in a way that reflects your values.

Sending good wishes to everyone who reads this post and I hope you stay well and are able to find ways to live your life in a way that brings you contentment during this difficult time the world finds itself in.

Kay

Writing back to Happiness

In 2015 I started this blog when I was dealing with treatment for a life threatening form of leukaemia. I kept the blog up for some while – it helped provide me with a focus – and when I was able to go out, I enjoyed taking photos and sharing them.

As life returned to some form of normality – I had survived! (needing checks every six months) – my blog writing slipped. I had a couple of attempts to rekindle it but somehow life got in the way. Yet when I wrote my first book “Life Happens, Live Happy” (available on Amazon – author Kay Underdown), I fully realised how both writing and blogging had helped me through some very challenging times.

When I eventually graduated from University in 2017 with my degree in Social Sciences, having had a whole year out due to my illness, the idea for Life Story Writing was born. Workshops and courses using my own unique approach combining coaching, creativity and sense of belonging.

Following graduation I had to negotiate some difficult, and unexpected, life paths. the outcome is living in the most wonderful area by the sea, one of my dreams that I had long wanted to achieve but never before had the guts to see it through.

There followed a period when I half-heartedly worked towards working for myself as a coach and running workshops but somehow the time wasn’t right. Life was good. I still felt as if I was on holiday whenever I had the time to wander but I lacked something and I just didn’t know what that something was. So I returned to University to start a Masters degree in Methods of Social Research and during this time I had a period of exploration and fine-tuned my direction. It was the Life Story Writing workshops I wanted to focus on. I had an inner conviction that they could really make a difference to people’s wellbeing, and could help increase happiness and sense of belonging.

After a few initial workshops on happiness and empowerment and life story writing, I started running a longer course for a local charity aimed at people aged 50+. That course has led to something very special to me – a small life story writing group. One of the outcomes from this will be my next book – “Writing back to Happiness” Life Story Writing the Waves and Pebbles Way. I started handwriting this book just after Christmas with a lovely new fountain pen, part of a set gifted to me by my group.

It is during these meetings that I have realised how much I really enjoyed blogging, and not really understood why I stopped doing something I loved so much. Anyway, here I am, back again!

I am excited for 2020. It somehow feels that it is a year of the unexpected but that it will be good, providing new adventures with opportunities to explore all that life has to offer and doing it in my own way.

I truly wish anyone reading this the very best for 2020 and the coming new decade. May you give yourself the gift of time to explore what it is you really want to do with your life – whether that’s carrying on doing the things that you love or allowing yourself to explore new avenues based on your own life values and future dreams.

Watch this space as I continue “Writing back to Happiness”. My focus for my Waves and Pebbles blog continues to be random stories about life, creativity and memories – with the addition of nature – which are all reflected in my Life Story Writing workshops and groups.

I live in Broadstairs, on the Isle of Thanet in Kent, England. We are blessed with beautiful bays, sandy beaches and amazing skies. In 2020 I will be running short courses at various venues, usually hotels and cafes where you can relax and enjoy a social occasion and do some life story writing back to happiness along the way. I am also exploring the possibility of offering online groups so if you might be interested in this, please let me know.

I hope you have all enjoyed the festive season and are looking forward to what the New Year 2020 and the next decade will bring. I’d love to hear your life stories and what your hopes and dreams are for the future.

Kay xx

Please feel free to comment here or visit my website http://www.kayunderdown.com. You will also find my page on Facebook @empoweringyoubeyondyourdreams (Kay Underdown, Happiness & Empowerment Coach). Like my blog, this has not been kept up to date and I am looking at developing my social media presence specifically aimed at Life Story Writing. I’d love to hear your own experiences of writing … or perhaps the reasons why you don’t write … I also encourage people to draw their stories if they don’t want to write or to do storyboards, a bit of both!

The unfinished picture

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I was at the start of a challenge.  A challenge I had brought on myself one morning when I had asked a friend to encourage me to do something each day for 30 days to enhance my creativity, to get me doing some painting or drawing.

I am in no way an artist but I do enjoy the process of getting lost in time creating something, exploring different shapes but especially colours.  I feel that I experience ‘flow’ when I truly allow myself the time and space.  My thoughts drift in and out of the day, to and fro between the past and future, with everything in the now focussed on my creation.

I love taking photos but there is something different about taking a blank piece of paper that transforms in minutes with just pencil, pen, felt tips or paint.  It is very personal, not something I would usually share with the world.  But what I wanted to share was the story of my experience.  How this 30 day artist’s challenge on Facebook (because that is what happened!) really got me thinking about how little sketches captured a fragment of my life at a particular point in time.  Sometimes we may think that art is only for those who have the gift to create, but we are missing out on so much if we never venture into this special world.

Just by looking at this picture now, done back in November, there is so much that can spring from it personally for me.

Each little mark or object can be the starting point for a different story.  To start with, it reminds me of a long-distance friendship that has developed from a brief encounter on a road trip in the Summer.

The border lines marked at intervals remind me of the sharing of knowledge by a very talented artist, which led me to create viewfinders from cereal boxes to help get everything in the right place in the picture.

The fireplace is one of the features of the lovely home in which I am currently living and only in the past week found out more about its history and that the place where I sat drawing this picture used to be a hairdressing salon.

The little plaque above the fireplace was a gift from my dear mum and dad when they visited Las Vegas, and the little wooden plate below the wall lights another gift from them when they visited Austria.  This reminds me of fond memories of a holiday with my parents in Austria in the snow when I was just 16 years old, staying in Mayrhofen when I had the opportunity to learn to ski-bob and what fun that was.  I later went on a cheap coach trip to the same place and had a wonderful summer holiday, getting a chairlift up into the mountains.  I recall the magical feeling of being literally on top of a mountain, the amazing peace and sense of freedom.  This turned out to be the calm before the storm, realising that zig zags on the map of a real mountain equate to a very lengthy and exhausting ramble downhill which left us painfully achy the next morning!

All this from an unfinished picture, and that is just the start …

I must admit I didn’t complete the whole challenge but really think I have benefited from the experience.  I may share one or two more of my pictures if anyone is interested.  The one I am most proud of is one that is very childlike in nature – a painting done from a photo – but for me represents so much that is important to me.

All it takes is some blank paper and your choice of pencil, felt-tips, paints etc.  Have a go and see where it leads you, what stories come to your mind from what you create.  If you are used to writing as your medium for creation, see how this can bring a new layer to your life.  Go out into the world and see what draws you in, or sit in the comfort of your home and let the memories drift onto the page.

Paradice

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I just came across this poem I wrote some years ago when I was in my bedroom looking down onto the snowy urban landscape around me, stuck at home and unable to travel as the roads were so treacherous.

PARADICE

There’s nowhere I can go
you spread your blanket high
I’m trapped within this box
and I don’t have any socks

How can it really be
you flutter from the sky
it makes this life so hard
and we’ve taken down our guard

We never are prepared
you make us really sigh
it brings us to a halt
and we’ve used up all the salt

Then suddenly it comes
to those that do not cry
it takes away the stress
and don’t even have to dress

We’re stranded here at home
with no-one coming by
it brings such wondrous calm
and don’t come to any harm

There’s some that have a go
don’t stop to think of why
it may be hard to see
and they may just hit a tree

We ventured for a walk
you felt so very dry
the world it did stand still
and with magic we did chill

Laughter rippled through us
a warm tear filled the eye
with luck did surely dice
and we fell for paradice

Recovering at home – working towards my goals

Photo Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Photo Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Today I thought I’d better try and get back into blogging, which I had been looking forward to but other things have got in the way and I couldn’t seem to decide what to write about.

One thing I am really pleased about is that I at last seem to be making progress with an idea for a novel, one of my ambitions in life.  It is gradually beginning to take shape, slowly.  At last I seem to have found a way that works for me, by doing it randomly and gradually it is coming together and different ideas are starting to pop up.  I want to write something that is both simple and yet complex in the way that it is structured, bringing together things to do with life that I am interested in and using some of my life experiences and learning.  I had often thought about writing something autobiographical until I attended a creative writing course which made me realise that I could write fiction and weave personal experiences within it.

The other thing I have been doing over the past couple of weeks is catching up on an online learning course on social media marketing.  It is an introduction and has been interesting seeing how the course itself has been put together.  Maybe this will come in useful when I publish my book!  When it comes to publishing – some way off for me at the moment – there are decisions to make on whether to go the self-publishing route, whether to publish an e-book, traditional printed copies or both.  I love books that I can just flick through, there is just something about browsing in a book shop, holding the book and turning the pages.  Yet having an e-book would open it up to a much wider audience.

Something else I have done in the past couple of weeks is putting together a photo book.  I took advantage of one Groupon’s offers and enjoyed putting together a random selection of memories from photos on my computer which spanned from the birth of my 13 year old daughter.  I received the book in the post yesterday and am really pleased with it.  It has a hard cover with my own photos on the front and back.  A bonus was that I could share an electronic version with friends and family if I wished – I wasn’t expecting that – so I am well pleased.  Going back to my novel, I can really see the benefits of going the ‘e’ route but a combination – like my photo book – would definitely suit me best.  So at some point I will need to research the options, particularly cost-wise and time-wise.  If I really got a move on with my draft, when could I realistically publish?  At last I do actually believe it could happen, that it is not some flimsy dream without legs.

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Since coming out of hospital I have been dipping into ‘The Millionaire Course. A Visionary Plan for Creating the Life of Your Dreams’ by Marc Allen.  I really like the book, particularly the use of ‘keys’ and numerous quotations.  It has reminded me of things I have learned in the past and I have started doing affirmations again in relation to things I want to achieve.  Last time I did this regularly, I did notice changes take place in my life for the better.  I just need to remember to read the affirmations each day, add to them or change them, and see what happens.  It helps in keeping things positive during a difficult time, as does my writing.

Well that’s it for now.  I hope not to leave it so long till next time.  I’m now going to see what photos I can use for this post.

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Copyright 2015 Kay/wavesandpebbles

Additional note:

It intrigues me where things lead.  As I thought about what photo to use, I decided to take a photo of an inspirational tile that was a gift from my eldest daughter some years ago.  It sits here in a prominent position in my room.  I then decided to look on the back to see if there was any way of finding out if it was still available.  Well I still don’t know the answer to that as I got distracted.  The tile is by Russ Berrie and I googled this.  I ended up reading about Russ Berrie’s story as Founder of The Russell Berrie Foundation.  A man who starts making money at the age of 10 years old selling scorecards at baseball games and has a real belief in the value and skill of being able to sell.  He becomes one of the top 40 most generous Americans and founds The Russell Berrie Foundation.  Sadly he passed away on Christmas Day in 2002 but his memory lives on through the Foundation.  I liked the following quote from his story which is an extract from a lecture given in 1998 “Selling Your Way to Success”:

“So, set a goal, then persevere in that goal through thick and thin, overcoming all obstacles … if you have the courage and the sense of urgency to get it done, you will do so. You can achieve what you want if you truly want it badly enough. My wish for you is that you get in touch with the person that is uniquely you. I advise you to trust yourself enough to let the world in and savor all that it has to offer.” (Russ Berrie 1998)