A very special collaboration with four lovely ladies on the Isle of Thanet by the beautiful Kent coast in England
It means so much to me to be able to share this picture of my long-awaited book, a collaboration with four wonderful ladies in my writing group on the Isle of Thanet in Kent, England. It was due to be completed in 2020 but it just wasn’t happening. I do believe that the right time comes and by waiting it has become even more than I hoped it would be and with the cover designed by my eldest daughter Jessica.
This little book represents what I am about, inspiring people to write and share the little stories in life with the benefits to wellbeing this can bring. Included is a selection of life coaching exercises for self-coaching appearing throughout the book. It’s one to dip into with a notebook and pen to hand to capture what thoughts come to mind.
I’ve self-published the book using my own Waves and Pebbles Publishing imprint and at the moment copies will be available directly through me. It is a little book but one that I hope will make a big difference, resulting in many special memories being captured and shared.
There are many writing prompts that you can take wherever you wish, don’t try and stick to the original prompt, let your mind wander. You don’t even need to be a writer to use this book, if you like you can draw instead (though I haven’t covered drawing in the book). It’s surprising what appears on the page in just five minutes if you allow the pen to just move across the paper without self-judgement.
I’ve just created a new page on Facebook – Writing Back to Happiness – which I hope will be available online later today. Please do follow my page. I intend to do some Facebook lives based on the book which will be starting soon and I will come back here to talk more about what is happening.
My own experience in life is that inspiration is something I get from a variety of sources. To list but a few: specific people, exploring and learning, discovering possibilities through curiosity, reading books, different experiences, connections with people and with nature. By being curious about life and opening up opportunities, new worlds appear, clusters of community, leading me to explore even more to find out what else may enrich my life.
When I feel inspired, I feel good and life takes on a fresh field of wonder. I am given the tools to follow my dreams and instincts, to bring to life what is within me, what it is I really wish to do.
So this brings me to motivation. Throughout my adult life I have always considered that I am self-motivated. I believe that this self-motivation comes from the inspiration that I absorb. As a child, my parents inspired me through their hard work to provide a lovely home and garden that they both enjoyed and were proud of. This motivated me as an adult to always seek to be employed in work that I found fulfilling and to continue to improve myself. My love of learning was nurtured by an enjoyable school life. My English teacher at secondary school took me from a low level of achieving to gaining the top grade in my ‘O’ level exams (now replaced by GCSE).
When I worked as a Research and Personal Assistant to the Group Historian at The British Petroleum Company, the man who wrote the first volume of the company’s history, I was inspired by the process of creating a book. I was privileged to be involved at all stages through to coding the draft that was then transferred to a black box for Cambridge University Press. This was in the early days when offices didn’t have computers and it was a big event when we changed over from electric typewriters to dedicated word processors. I still recall now going for the week-long training where I worked in the City of London.
Whilst working in this role I was inspired by this kind, generous and supportive man who brought out the best in people. In a business world where some staff were deemed inferior, he erased the barriers that existed within the system. I was invited to join a lunch with the Chairman in his own dining room on the top floor of the office tower block and experienced first hand how people’s perception and behaviour towards me could change just because I was seen to be eligible to join an elite group. Yet the person I worked for embraced everyone, their uniqueness, their contribution, and he developed the strengths of those in his team and helped them overcome their weaknesses. Whenever I think of who has been the biggest inspiration to me in all my working life, I think of him.
This question has led me on a journey through my memories of life. Important memories that are part of my identity and from which I gain a sense of belonging. Yet now I have to stop and think. Did I answer the question?
Reflecting back, inspiration is what I get from outside of me. Some people may ask the question “Can I get inspiration from within?” What I would say is that it is motivation to do the things that we really want to do that comes from within, and that this arises from the pool of inspiration that we have absorbed.
There are other ways in which we are motivated. We may want to save up for something special so we may do extra work to bring in more money. We may want to get fit and lose weight so we can look good for a special occasion. For me, this is a different kind of motivation that is external and is not so closely linked with inspiration. For me, the biggest and most long-lasting rewards in life are when you are inspired and self-motivated to take action towards your dreams, what you really, really want to do in your life that is not just for one end purpose.
So, if we think of saving up for something special, what would make that longer lasting and involve inspiration and self-motivation? For me, it would involve the creation of memories while on a holiday, taking the time to write a few journal entries along the way, taking plenty of photos from which each one could lead to a different story being told when shared with others over the years.
Losing weight to fit into a new outfit? Well it would be my personal journey, again documented with photos and little bits of writing. Being able to look back at events and times of our lives enables us to share these stories with others, and with our families, making new connections in the process and inspiring others to motivate themselves to take their own actions.
As a Waves and Pebbles Life Story Writing coach and facilitator, I inspire people to write (or draw) the little stories in their lives. Alongside that, using the Life Wheel and exploration of life values, I enable them to take self-motivated inspired action towards their dreams.
Writing and creativity has therapeutic benefits and takes us on a journey of self-communication. When people come together and share their stories, this is when magic can happen.
Kay Underdown is a Life Story Writing, Sense of Belonging and Life Wheel Coach and Facilitator. She provides one-to-one telephone coaching using the Life Wheel and is currently developing and planning online sessions, groups and workshops. Kay is a member of the Sue Stone Foundation and is an accredited coach with The Coaching Academy.
In 2019 Kay published her first book “Life Happens, Live Happy” which is available on Amazon, and is writing her second book “Writing Back to Happiness”, based on her own approach of combining life coaching with writing and sharing stories about life. She graduated with a BSc (Hons) Social Science degree as a mature student in 2017, her dissertation being on sense of belonging in relation to people, place, memories and nature.
Kay is collaborating with Scottish artist Stewart Morrison who is based in the historic Artists’ Town of Scotland, Kirkcudbright, where Kay met him on a roadtrip around the UK with her daughter in 2017. The first book as a result of a project that emerged as a result of their mutual interests was “Drawn by the Sea” self-published in 2019 and containing art inspired by the Thanet Coast. The second book “Drawn by the Sea: Scottish Coastal Communities” will be self-published this year and contains a selection of art, taking the reader on a pictorial journey around the coast of Scotland.
For all enquiries about Kay’s work, including any related to the above books or prints of Stewart’s art:
I know I need to eat healthier. It’s not that I don’t eat reasonably healthily, as I think I do. But it is what the ‘reasonably’ stands for. Some days it’s chocolate, including keep returning to that delicious block of Belgian chocolate gateaux that I thought was such a bargain as I can slice it straight from the freezer and no longer wait for it to defrost. Other days it’s butter, too many things throughout the day that just wouldn’t be the same without it: hot buttered toast, mushrooms cooked in butter, cauliflower cheese with a rich sauce. Then recently I bought a second hand Kenwood food mixer and have been making my own bread and baking cakes. How do people who bake all the time manage to keep trim? And going out socialising, eating and drinking in restaurants and cafes. Yesterday I was offered dessert (after a fairly healthy and very filling jacket potato with cheese and salad). Usually I decline but I was tempted by their homemade Raspberry Pavlova. When it arrived the raspberries were sitting on a thick blanket of fresh cream. It was delicious but even I realised it was a bit over the top.
When I was first diagnosed with leukaemia in January this year I was in hospital for three months and lost about a stone and a half (I never can visualise my metric weight). I must admit I was glad that I had some weight to lose as I eventually couldn’t eat and had to have nutrition intravenously. The medical staff were concerned that I got my appetite back and ate things that would build me up. So when I could eat, it wasn’t particularly what I would call healthy – it was a bit of a mix. Which is probably where I am at now. I do believe that as long as the healthy and unhealthy is properly balanced then it is not a problem. But what is that balance? Balance is probably the wrong word as it definitely should not be 50:50. What do you think?
When I was in my early twenties I was forever trying to lose weight, trying different diets with my friends then putting the weight back on. Then I stumbled across something that worked for me, losing over two stone and keeping it off for many years. I still recall that I had a set menu every day, it became a routine. I had cereal for breakfast, crispbreads with apple sauce (yes, sounds strange, but I discovered it and it worked for me) then a chicken salad in the evening. I also walked to and from work, a good half hour each way. The thing was I didn’t have to think about what I was going to eat. I knew. Once I got used to it, I stopped being obsessed with thinking about food. Have you found something that has worked for you?
I know what I need to do. I need to plan what I am going to eat, make a shopping list and stick to it. And how difficult is that? Simple. Then why is it so hard to do? Why do I seem to have such a block when it comes to planning my diet? I have come across some blogs on here which focus on healthy eating, including people who have been affected by cancer and discuss the best types of food to eat. The problem is there is so much information out there and it’s knowing the best places to look. Have you found a really good blog or website? Is there a book you would recommend?
I should have the motivation. I have good reason to want to eat healthily but somehow that isn’t always enough to do what’s needed. There must be other people out there who are struggling like I am, or who have moved on and now living a healthy life. I am therefore setting up a page which people can visit and share their own experiences, what has helped them overcome blocks to healthy eating, what healthy eating means to them in practice, what the risks are – such as what has stopped them following a healthy diet, what has got in the way. Things such as stress, relationship break-ups, long working hours, cooking for family? I’d love to hear from bloggers all over the world.
Please visit my new Forum https://wavesandpebbles.wordpress.com/healthy-eating-forum/ and let me know what you think of this idea. I hope it will bring people together to discuss their issues related to healthy eating. You may have noticed I don’t talk about losing weight. I do need to lose weight but I think that once I am eating a healthier diet, my weight will gradually reduce which is the best way of keeping it off.
I look forward to hearing about your own experiences and am hoping that by doing this, it will help me, and others out there in the blogging world, live a healthier life.
waves and pebbles 