“Wondering” … from The Untrapped Butterfly (a different way to declutter paper and share your little life stories)

1 January 20241 January 2024 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

Source: *The Untrapped Butterfly* by Kay Underdown

This new book, The Untrapped Butterfly, reflections on life and photo memories, has been created as part of a personal paper decluttering process and offers, by example, a different way to share little life stories.

The words are short extracts from past journal writing (shredding the remainder) coupled with personal photos that instinctively felt right for the words and each having their own stories hidden within.

The words reflect my inner thoughts at the time they were written across the years. Much is left unsaid but when sharing the book with others, numerous stories may emerge. Although the words are not titled in the book, I have called this extract “Wondering” and it stood out to me as the one to share while celebrating the New Year, with the reflective processes that this often prompts.

Wondering

As I sit here under the leaves

I wonder what new adventure awaits me

Wondering allows the moments to pass

while dwelling on that which brings

a sense of unknowingness,

indecision and hopelessness

Yet, if I so choose, wondering leads to the

magic of dreams not yet imagined that bring

a sense of excitement, possibility,

and a world awaiting our hidden talents

to emerge and spread their wings

The selected photo was taken while on a road trip around the UK in 2017 with my youngest daughter. We had just had a short stay at Kirkcudbright, the historic artists’ town of Scotland. This was when I met my friend and book collaborator, Scottish fine artist Stewart Morrison. I happened across a sign directing me along a path to a garden studio and we made a connection due to each of our interests. We have since created two “Drawn by the Sea” books based mainly on Stewart’s art, one on the Isle of Thanet where I was living at the time and researching for a university visual sociology assignment at Stone Bay (published in 2019) and one about a journey around the coast of Scotland which we created from a distance across the miles in 2020 and included contributions by Stewart’s friends and one of my friends in Thanet as she had written about Crail, the place in the little painting I bought from Stewart in 2017.

Back to the road trip and photo … my daughter looked at the map and picked out the next place to stay as she was drawn by its name … Ravenstonedale. It turned out to be the most peaceful and beautiful place and the photo was take while walking and climbing over stone walls following a footpath. Just realised there is a common theme here not before noticed … stone!

The cover is a photo I took at my favourite bay in Broadstairs, Kent on the Isle of Thanet – Stone Bay. I love books and it gives me so much joy creating a book that means much to me. I have learnt so much over the past few years about how much different forms of creativity help with my mental health and wellbeing and have often observed the same in others. I have always loved taking photos from childhood, and have dabbled in drawing, painting, digital storytelling and thread journalling over recent years.

I love this photo which I felt was perfect for the book’s reflective nature
… no butterfly in sight but one day it hopes to revisit Stone Bay

The book is available online “The Untrapped Butterfly. Reflections on life and photo memories” by Kay Underdown and was self-published in December 2023. (Waves and Pebbles Publishing). It is a small, slim book. Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference in life. It is for those who wish to be inspired and come up with their own thoughts and ideas of what they would like to do. It is not a ‘how to’ book … writing on the pages of the book is encouraged.

I am starting the New Year with fresh intentions but no promises, I have learnt the need for freedom, spontaneity and authenticity. My true wish is for unknown adventures to evolve in line with my values where my family, friends, nature and belonging are so important. My dreams and wishes will provide some kind of compass to guide me along the most interesting and fulfilling paths and enable me to contribute in the long-term to the wellbeing of others.

Wishing you all the best for the New Year … remember what is truly important to you and I hope that the coming months will reflect that in your life and bring you joy and contentment,

Kay

Ripples: belonging through journaled poems and photo memories

22 June 202322 June 2023 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

A repurposed work-in-progress painting of my garden where I used to live by the sea provides the background to my new self-published book. Far left, three little boxes of light can just be seen where I painted my shed windows

Journaled poems

I first wrote a poem when I started writing Morning Pages (Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way). It somehow just flowed onto the page as I wrote my three pages of free writing. It was a poem to me, but not in the sense of a proper poem written by a poet. However, it was very personal and special to me. Since that time I have written quite a number of such poems, especially when I was going through a period of depression. I’ve always referred to them as my doomy gloomy poems. I kept these for a long while as although they were a bit gloomy, by the end of the poem I was turning things around so they had a positive slant. This all happened at the time I decided to write. I would start writing something, often deciding to have a set number of syllables and rhyming line endings but no set pattern, just spontaneous decisions which carried through until the poem was finished. I would say that during that time, at least part of it, I was in flow, I became immersed in what I was doing and lost all track of time.

I haven’t written many in recent years and they tend not to be so gloomy. From time to time I have gone through them and wanted to do something with them. I compiled a draft book with them all in, in alphabetical order, but it just wasn’t doing it for me. There was nothing special about it, no special meaning for me. So I put it aside.

Photo memories

I thought about having the poems illustrated. I’m no artist but I do love taking photos, they are like my diary of life. So one day I just came up with the idea of choosing one of my photos to go with each poem, with their own linked memory. Alongside this, I had decided to select my favourites and ten seemed to be the perfect number. One poem is a haiku written during a creative workshop, the rest are journaled poems written quietly, either at home or in a local cafe … or in one case, on a train when it was delayed and stuck in the middle of the countryside.

Some months after, I have given the book a name and am self-publishing under my Waves and Pebbles imprint. It is a tiny book with few pages but it has ended up meaning so much to me. I decided to write just a couple of pages of endnotes that say a little about the memories.

Repurposed painting

I recently started doing a mixed media mantra art course with artist Kelly Rae Roberts and that has got me back into playing around with paint. One day I decided to paint over a large canvas of a painting I did en plein air in the garden where I used to live and have ended up with the work-in-progress painting shown in the picture. I decided this was perfect for my book cover and just added a blob for the back cover to represent the sun and remind me of the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that I experienced when I lived on the beautiful Isle of Thanet coast in the south east of England.

The blob makes all the difference to the back cover!

I’m excited to say that the book dropped through my door a couple of days ago. It will be online, official publication date was yesterday – a year on from my last book “Writing Back to Happiness” written in collaboration with four wonderful ladies in Thanet. I notice that some countries already have it available but it has not yet worked through the system to be everywhere and will appear in time. I’m not sure how other people may experience “Ripples” A journey through belonging 10 poems with personal photos and endnotes (by Kay Underdown) but for me it helps show a different way of representing personal memories and preserving them for the future.

Self-publishing – pricing dilemma

I have found it very difficult to put a price on this book as it is very slim. Often we are guided by the size of something in putting a monetary value on things yet if I think of what else you could buy for so little, it is not very much. For me, I will treasure my little book with the memories it holds safe for me and provides the starting point for more little stories in life, whether written or visual. More recently, I have explored sound and music in telling a digital story in relation to my personal experience of cancer … but that is definitely for another post.

Waves – sea therapy from afar

29 August 2022 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

I recently took the opportunity, while on a holiday road trip, to visit Hornsea, a small seaside town on the beautiful Yorkshire coastline in England. The following piece of writing emerged (unedited).

“Waves have the power to entrance and refresh, to bring us close in to nature. They devour our stressful feelings and bring an inner depth of awe into our world. The fresh salty air, the constant yet rhythmic movement that rises and falls and moves in and out of our lives.

Braving the waters, there is nothing like being swept up and down within the gentleness of a calm yet revolving sea. To allow oneself to drift within its soothing hug before returning refreshed to the damp pillowed sandy and pebbly shore.

To catch first sight of the waves crashing against the shore is heaven embodied. It draws me in. As each rise swells to a crashing crescendo nothing else matters. This is life. This is all that is needed to wipe the worries away.

Waves are forever there despite them being far away. Their energy may lay dormant within us until we allow ourselves to be within their power, within their being, whether through our own visionary imagination or immersing ourselves in seascapes that effervesce with the sense of the sea, providing a source of sea therapy that is open to all who wish to offer themselves to it.

Sea therapy is for all, regardless of whether you are by the sea, if you have had personal experience of it, it stays within waiting to be given the key to open up your dreams of a life blessed by the sea.”

Not so long ago I moved away from the sea and now live next door to the Peak District National Park with its stunning mountainous scenery. I knew that I would miss the sea yet I have learnt that by remaining connected through my interests, friends, photos, projects and writing, I can still feel the benefits of that connection, that sense of belonging. A while ago I discovered reference to some research that backed this up, that if you have personally experienced being by the sea then the benefits can still remain with you. I now know personally that I can tap into this feeling whenever I choose and when I am able to visit the seaside it is the most amazing feeling and something that I will forever look forward to.

I didn’t realise until I was writing this post that the Peak District was the first National Park, created in 1951 (there is much history behind this which makes me realise how lucky we are to have the freedom to explore such a wonderful area). By the end of the decade the Lake District, Snowdonia, Dartmoor, the Pembrokeshire Coast, North York Moors, Yorkshire Dales, Exmoor, Northumberland and Brecon Beacons had also become national parks. https://www.peakdistrict.gov.uk/learning-about/about-the-national-park/our-history.

Patterns in time

13 April 2020 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

Today it went through my mind that I was gaining some kind of pattern to my daily life. There is much advice that routine is good for us during this surreal time but a belief I have held for some while is that I don’t much like routines … to me it feels like too much predictability whereas I like to bring spontaneity into my life, to allow time for those creative moments. Yet without some kind of planning, at the moment those creative moments haven’t quite been happening. Slowly perhaps we are adapting to the changing nature of life that has been sprung upon us. For now, life as we knew it has seemingly been put on hold and people are affected in such contrasting ways across a whole spectrum of experience. So for now, I am enjoying accepting a different pattern into my life. One that is evolving yet can adapt and change as the rhythms of the day change with the weather and external commitments that spring from a different source that is changing the nature of how we live in this moment and maybe in the future to come.

Today, to go with this post, I wanted some kind of pattern, so I started with a photo that I love and thought I’d see where it went. I used Affinity Photo software on my iMac and just played around with it until I discovered something that I felt was right for this post. It is a photo of a place that I love that I don’t get to see at the moment but is held close to my heart. It’s so beautiful that it deserves a post of its own – Kingsgate Bay.

Life Happens, Live Happy … Now!

14 January 201914 January 2019 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

A year after I finished writing, I have NOW self-published my book “Life Happens, Live Happy” through Amazon KDP. Writing a book was one of my life goals and to be honest I felt like I had achieved it when I finished writing it last Christmas, as the goal was never about selling it. Perhaps that was why it took me so long to actually get it out there. Then again, perhaps it was all about timing, or the fact that it was a very personal book that it feels quite scary to share with the world. It now seems like the perfect time!

lhlh front cover wordpress 4 12 18 copy

This book is very important to me and it was quite therapeutic writing it. Like this blog, it has at its root what happened to me in 2015 when I was diagnosed with a life-threatening form of leukaemia and was seriously ill in hospital. When I returned home after more than a couple of months in hospital, it was blogging I turned to as something to give me some focus in life, to distract me from the seriousness of what I was dealing with. So this little book talks about some of the issues around this time and what helped me, particularly having a positive approach to life and acknowledging the simple things that can make us happy. Like this blog, it is quite random in nature.

Back in 2017, I joined the Sue Stone Foundation as an accredited coach and this has made an immense difference to me, and it is Sue Stone who kindly wrote the Foreword for my new book. Sue wrote the book “Love Life, Live Life”, which I read I believe back in 2008 and found it very inspirational. Sue was later one of the Secret Millionaires on the TV programme and I feel very privileged to be a member of her Foundation whose aim is to spread positivity, love and success throughout the world.

I hope that some of you reading my blog will end up reading my little book. The aim of the book was to inspire anyone on their own life journey, whatever their challenges may be. It is available on Amazon across the world in English language, in the UK it is £6.99 plus postage for the paperback, the Kindle version is available for £2.99 or if you subscribe to unlimited then it is free under the KDP Select scheme. This is a new adventure for me and 2019 is going to be an exciting time. If anyone else reading this has experience of self-publishing through Amazon I would love to hear from you. I would also love to hear any thoughts on my book if you have a chance to read it.

The Sue Stone Foundation is holding its first online summit on Monday, 21 January in the evening. I will be one of the participants as a member of the Foundation. If you would like further information about this, just leave me a message.

Wishing you all the best for 2019.

Life Happens, Live Happy! Click here to see some sample pages and to buy “Life Happens, Live Happy” by Kay Underdown

Reflecting on life at Caffe Vista, Tenby

5 June 20165 June 2016 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

It is two years ago that I first visited Caffe Vista in the Summer of 2014. I made a spontaneous visit and discovered this great place in Tenby which drew me back this year. I was lucky on all occasions to get a seat on their small balcony. There is plenty of seating inside which is really nice and a variety of food which I have not yet sampled. I enjoyed a strawberry, raspberry and mango smoothie followed by a hot chocolate on my first visit of the day while I sat reflecting on the beauty of Tenby and thinking about life. I then returned for a strawberry, banana and yoghurt smoothie to take another break from ambling along by the beach and through the narrow streets. A lot has happened healthwise during the past two years and I felt blessed to be able to return. Next door to the cafe I noticed that there are some holiday apartments which enjoy the same views – what a wonderful place to stay!

Tenby – stunning Welsh coastal jewel

5 June 20165 June 2016 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

I have just returned from Wales and spent a wonderful day at Tenby in Wales. It is such a special place – beautiful beaches, interesting and colourful buildings, stunning views. There is a good holiday vibe in the summer with many tourists but even during the school holidays this week the beach was not crowded. I would love to visit in the winter when it is quiet, some would perhaps say bleak, but it is a place where there is so much natural beauty – a truly spiritual place to experience.

Puppydays – Isle of Sheppey seaside

28 May 20165 June 2016 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

I’m excited to be back on WordPress after spending yesterday helping my friend Artist Julie Bradshaw with her own blog (more on that in another post). It’s given me the incentive to get back on here, I’ve really missed it. There’s been a lot going on in my life keeping me busy, mainly getting back to university after my debilitating illness throughout 2015, trying to catch up on what I have missed and keeping up with working on my modules so that I can complete my second year and progress to my final year. But … one of the most exciting, heartwarming and life changing things has been having the new addition to our family, Jasmine our chocolate labrador puppy.

It had been a possible intention to do a separate blog, or create a YouTube channel, for my puppy and tell her story from when she was born throughout her early days and beyond. But the reality is that when Jasmine arrived home, I can only liken it to having a new baby with all the routines and care of looking after a new life. Jasmine is a joy to look after but much as I wanted to take lots of beautiful photos, most important is to enjoy and be with her and the camera sort of goes out the window a lot of the time (and has luckily escaped the clutches of Jasmine’s teeth!). I have taken quite a few photos but they are not the ‘perfect’ puppy photos I had imagined – but then Jasmine to me is perfect in every photo because it is her. So at various points I will share some of the earlier photos and I’m sure she will appear in future posts as we enjoy the summer together.

So for now, here are a few photos of our trip the other day to the seaside on the Isle of Sheppey in Kent. It was a glorious if slightly chilly day and there were surprisingly few people about. I do enjoy finding these gems of places that are not so far away from my home and I wonder why I don’t visit more often. I love the seaside and Jasmine really enjoyed her visit, despite having her nose to the ground most of the time. But perhaps that’s a sure sign of happiness for a dog!

Timelapse – return to blogging – Brighton West Pier

6 November 20156 November 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

Copyright 2015 Kay Underdown/wavesandpebbles

This photo was taken from my hotel room in Brighton when I escaped with my daughter for a couple of days before returning home for my last cycle of chemo treatment which I am having today. I have very mixed emotions and hoping that I don’t end up back in hospital.

My post today was prompted by the realisation that people were still reading my blog and if I left it much longer I might never return. I realise how much I have missed the blogging world but I have taken time out to get out and about as much as possible before I am restricted again. I have also been experimenting with other social media, Twitter in particular, but there is no comparison. I find Twitter fascinating but there is not the same sense of community that I feel might be gained from being part of the blogging world. I would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts on this. There’s a lot of social media options out there and for me they each serve different purposes and it’s finding a way to use them without social media taking over your life.

I’m just going to leave it there today. I’ve still been taking photos which I will catch up on and blog about. My Apple desktop is a scattered mess of photos which will no doubt give me inspiration. I’m keeping calm and relaxed and there is just something about the photo I have chosen for this blog that takes me to a different place.

Canary Wharf, London, England

26 September 201528 September 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

I went for a train ride yesterday and ended up at Canary Wharf. I had hoped to see some of the 15 street pianos that were there but I somehow missed them.

It turned out to be a beautiful sunny day and I took a few photos. I arrived on the Docklands Light Railway, which is strange as I was sitting facing forward and could see ahead into the other carriages so could see the train swinging from side to side unlike the old London underground trains where you sit down the sides facing the people opposite and can’t see the other carriages. This has changed on the new underground trains, they are more spacious so at less busy times you can walk though the carriages and see them curving round.

Canary Wharf had a great atmosphere outside in the early evening and I discovered an Italian restaurant that I would really like to visit Amerigo Vespucci, it had a very enticing menu. It is a restaurant with an alfresco bar open with tables and chairs on the terrace overlooking the water.

I happened to be on Twitter this morning and linked through to someone who had favourited one of my tweets. His latest tweet was on visual storytelling and microblogging. On clicking through to his article, I discovered the app Steller (which is free) and had a go at using it. Here is the link to my first ‘story’ on Canary Wharf https://steller.co/s/4ukCuGNSfbR. If for some reason this doesn’t work visit me on Twitter – see link to the right. This app can really tell a story. There are different themes and you can write text either separate from, or on, the photos.

The original Tweet was mainly about a different, new (updated) visual storytelling app Storehouse. I am just downloading that now for free and hope to blog about it soon. Social media and it’s related parts are really eating into my time and I daren’t go there this morning else the day will be gone but I am really enjoying finding out more about it all.

Here are just a few more photos of some of the buildings.