Ripples: belonging through journaled poems and photo memories

22 June 202322 June 2023 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

A repurposed work-in-progress painting of my garden where I used to live by the sea provides the background to my new self-published book. Far left, three little boxes of light can just be seen where I painted my shed windows

Journaled poems

I first wrote a poem when I started writing Morning Pages (Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way). It somehow just flowed onto the page as I wrote my three pages of free writing. It was a poem to me, but not in the sense of a proper poem written by a poet. However, it was very personal and special to me. Since that time I have written quite a number of such poems, especially when I was going through a period of depression. I’ve always referred to them as my doomy gloomy poems. I kept these for a long while as although they were a bit gloomy, by the end of the poem I was turning things around so they had a positive slant. This all happened at the time I decided to write. I would start writing something, often deciding to have a set number of syllables and rhyming line endings but no set pattern, just spontaneous decisions which carried through until the poem was finished. I would say that during that time, at least part of it, I was in flow, I became immersed in what I was doing and lost all track of time.

I haven’t written many in recent years and they tend not to be so gloomy. From time to time I have gone through them and wanted to do something with them. I compiled a draft book with them all in, in alphabetical order, but it just wasn’t doing it for me. There was nothing special about it, no special meaning for me. So I put it aside.

Photo memories

I thought about having the poems illustrated. I’m no artist but I do love taking photos, they are like my diary of life. So one day I just came up with the idea of choosing one of my photos to go with each poem, with their own linked memory. Alongside this, I had decided to select my favourites and ten seemed to be the perfect number. One poem is a haiku written during a creative workshop, the rest are journaled poems written quietly, either at home or in a local cafe … or in one case, on a train when it was delayed and stuck in the middle of the countryside.

Some months after, I have given the book a name and am self-publishing under my Waves and Pebbles imprint. It is a tiny book with few pages but it has ended up meaning so much to me. I decided to write just a couple of pages of endnotes that say a little about the memories.

Repurposed painting

I recently started doing a mixed media mantra art course with artist Kelly Rae Roberts and that has got me back into playing around with paint. One day I decided to paint over a large canvas of a painting I did en plein air in the garden where I used to live and have ended up with the work-in-progress painting shown in the picture. I decided this was perfect for my book cover and just added a blob for the back cover to represent the sun and remind me of the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that I experienced when I lived on the beautiful Isle of Thanet coast in the south east of England.

The blob makes all the difference to the back cover!

I’m excited to say that the book dropped through my door a couple of days ago. It will be online, official publication date was yesterday – a year on from my last book “Writing Back to Happiness” written in collaboration with four wonderful ladies in Thanet. I notice that some countries already have it available but it has not yet worked through the system to be everywhere and will appear in time. I’m not sure how other people may experience “Ripples” A journey through belonging 10 poems with personal photos and endnotes (by Kay Underdown) but for me it helps show a different way of representing personal memories and preserving them for the future.

Self-publishing – pricing dilemma

I have found it very difficult to put a price on this book as it is very slim. Often we are guided by the size of something in putting a monetary value on things yet if I think of what else you could buy for so little, it is not very much. For me, I will treasure my little book with the memories it holds safe for me and provides the starting point for more little stories in life, whether written or visual. More recently, I have explored sound and music in telling a digital story in relation to my personal experience of cancer … but that is definitely for another post.

Journal wanderings in time … written some months back

19 June 202319 June 2023 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

I decided to have a 40 day adventure by writing in my travel journal, a gift to myself many years ago that has lain dormant, waiting for some special time. I had no idea where I was heading, it was to be an adventure in life as opposed to an actual journey, although I had already planned to go away for a few days to Scotland. I just felt the need for it, life wasn’t turning out quite how I had hoped and I knew something needed to change. I needed an adventure.

This seat overlooks Botany Bay on the Isle of Thanet at The Botany Bay Hotel … thoroughly recommended

It wasn’t long before I started revisiting what my dream had been some years ago, to have a little seaside cafe named Pebbles. Rather than dwell on an unfulfilled dream, I thought about what it was that I enjoyed about café life. Cafés, and other sociable daytime places such as hotel lounges and bars, have the potential to be wonderful places to spend time – but it has to be the right place. A place where I can feel welcome yet left to immerse myself in my own thoughts. Whether it be developing ideas, writing or reading a book or just wanting to sit and absorb the surroundings.

The Botany Bay Hotel is in the distance on the right

So what is it about cafés that draw me in? Sometimes it may be the local cafe that becomes a place where I find a sense of belonging and community, seeing familiar faces. These may not be friends but may be acquaintances and even conversations or brief interaction with strangers can make my inner self feel connected. Other times, it’s a place with a view, a seascape with time to reflect at leisure on life or just to immerse myself in just feeling totally blessed by my surroundings.

Through writing in my journal, it reinforced the importance to me of nature and creativity. I have written things like “My little world of joyful nature” and then added my thoughts on what this is. I also came up with the phrase “I am a social entrepreneur, inspired by life, grounded by nature”. On reflection, now I want to reverse it – inspired by nature, grounded by life. Perhaps that’s for a discussion another time.

Birds are all around us as soon as we step out the door. They have the potential to captivate me, especially the little robin that joined me during the first lockdown when I tinkered with gardening. The seagull holds a special place in my heart yet others seem to despise the way they scavenge and steal. The baby seagulls are innocent of this in the early years, still learning and relying on their parent for food. If one comes knocking on your window with a cute, quizzical face be prepared to fall in love with the soft, feathery bundle that walks on stilts. Seagull parents are the most protective so a handy umbrella for protection from dive-bombing can be a plus.

Some birds capture our wonder before we have even caught sight of a real one. The colours of the Kingfisher, often depicted in flight captured by photos or within a work of art, captivate me whenever I see them. I am grateful to have a beautiful painting by a dear friend and this reminds me of Margate on the Isle of Thanet where she was exhibiting at the time. On the other wall is a painting of Botany Bay sunrise by another artist friend living in Scotland. Each picture brings back a host of special memories and stories regarding the people and places. It intrigues me the power that pictures have, aside from their intrinsic value and interest as a work of fine art.

Returning to birds, I am reminded of the joyful birdsong that greeted me whenever I ventured into the garden early in the morning with no other sounds to distract me from these magical notes of pure happiness. Drawn to look up to the sky and consider the wonder of flight, particularly the murmurations of starlings that take me back to special times by the Thames Estuary in Kent.

So well might you be wondering what is this to do with my travel journal and having an adventure. I believe an adventure in life can be had at any time of our choosing. It’s about being open to opportunities, whatever else may be going on in life that is outside of our control. It’s enjoying exciting exploration of what is out there to experience combined with an introspective inquiry, what do I really want to do? Oftentimes I don’t actually know what I want to do and having discovered that there are people who are multi-pods or multi-potentialities (look up Emily Wapnick on YouTube), I realise I lean that way. What that means to me is that sometimes I have so many interests and so much going on in my head that it needs somewhere to go, to be offloaded, to try and make sense of it all and to bring back clarity. In essence, to simplify life and bring it back to the basics. My travel journal does all of this and more.

It took me on a real journey to Scotland and an unexpectedly extended holiday traversing the Lake District, Lancashire, Yorkshire and the Peak District. I drove along routes that filled me with a little trepidation when there were warning signs regarding breathing and altitude. The reward was a stop off to admire the view and take in the peacefulness and fresh mountain air. I stayed at different places, discovered those I would love to return to and felt such a sense of freedom. I made few plans, often guided by where the next Starbucks was, somewhere I could sit in my car and refresh, ready for the next journey onwards. I am a free spirit still learning to live within the confines of life as it is today. Enjoying aloneness versus craving connection. A paradox in life.

Beloved Bay

30 July 201830 July 2018 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

Version 2

Once again it has been a while since I blogged, no real excuses, it just hasn’t happened. Last November a distant artist friend challenged me to 30 days of drawing lessons on Facebook. My involvement was a bit of a disaster, I had every good intention but even though the time was there, it evaded me. Yet for me, the challenge was worth it because I produced the above! Believe me, this is far superior to anything I had produced before and it is now proudly framed and hanging in my downstairs cloakroom. It was based on a photo that I took whilst walking along my favourite bay. Every time I enter the cloakroom, it reminds me of that beautiful place and how I love living by the sea. It may not be a work of art but I enjoyed the process and it brings me joy whenever I enter the cloakroom. Not only does it remind me of the bay but I recall the kind offer of a friend to help me improve my drawing skills. Do you have something you have painted or made that reminds you of something and makes it extra special?

The unfinished picture

27 December 2017 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / 2 Comments

I was at the start of a challenge. A challenge I had brought on myself one morning when I had asked a friend to encourage me to do something each day for 30 days to enhance my creativity, to get me doing some painting or drawing.

I am in no way an artist but I do enjoy the process of getting lost in time creating something, exploring different shapes but especially colours. I feel that I experience ‘flow’ when I truly allow myself the time and space. My thoughts drift in and out of the day, to and fro between the past and future, with everything in the now focussed on my creation.

I love taking photos but there is something different about taking a blank piece of paper that transforms in minutes with just pencil, pen, felt tips or paint. It is very personal, not something I would usually share with the world. But what I wanted to share was the story of my experience. How this 30 day artist’s challenge on Facebook (because that is what happened!) really got me thinking about how little sketches captured a fragment of my life at a particular point in time. Sometimes we may think that art is only for those who have the gift to create, but we are missing out on so much if we never venture into this special world.

Just by looking at this picture now, done back in November, there is so much that can spring from it personally for me.

Each little mark or object can be the starting point for a different story. To start with, it reminds me of a long-distance friendship that has developed from a brief encounter on a road trip in the Summer.

The border lines marked at intervals remind me of the sharing of knowledge by a very talented artist, which led me to create viewfinders from cereal boxes to help get everything in the right place in the picture.

The fireplace is one of the features of the lovely home in which I am currently living and only in the past week found out more about its history and that the place where I sat drawing this picture used to be a hairdressing salon.

The little plaque above the fireplace was a gift from my dear mum and dad when they visited Las Vegas, and the little wooden plate below the wall lights another gift from them when they visited Austria. This reminds me of fond memories of a holiday with my parents in Austria in the snow when I was just 16 years old, staying in Mayrhofen when I had the opportunity to learn to ski-bob and what fun that was. I later went on a cheap coach trip to the same place and had a wonderful summer holiday, getting a chairlift up into the mountains. I recall the magical feeling of being literally on top of a mountain, the amazing peace and sense of freedom. This turned out to be the calm before the storm, realising that zig zags on the map of a real mountain equate to a very lengthy and exhausting ramble downhill which left us painfully achy the next morning!

All this from an unfinished picture, and that is just the start …

I must admit I didn’t complete the whole challenge but really think I have benefited from the experience. I may share one or two more of my pictures if anyone is interested. The one I am most proud of is one that is very childlike in nature – a painting done from a photo – but for me represents so much that is important to me.

All it takes is some blank paper and your choice of pencil, felt-tips, paints etc. Have a go and see where it leads you, what stories come to your mind from what you create. If you are used to writing as your medium for creation, see how this can bring a new layer to your life. Go out into the world and see what draws you in, or sit in the comfort of your home and let the memories drift onto the page.

Off the beaten track in the Kent Downs, England with a visit to an art studio and The Black Horse Inn at Thurnham

3 October 20153 October 2015 / Waves and Pebbles - random thoughts and writing on life, memories and creativity / Leave a comment

I had a few hours to spare so went for a drive in the Kent countryside with nowhere particular in mind. I was on a busy dual carriageway and waiting for something to lure me away. A sign for Hucking Estate showed a place for walks and picnics, so I flicked my indicator and headed off into the narrow lanes and tree tunnels. A nightmare I usually avoid, dreading coming face to face with a vehicle that will be obstinate and refuse to back away. I hate reversing especially if someone is edging towards me impatiently. But thankfully that was in my mind, it didn’t actually happen. I stopped by the roadside to take photos which on their own do not do justice in conveying the splendorous views that surrounded me amidst peace on that cool sunny autumn day.

I noticed a sign at a vague crossroads to an Art Studio. Intrigued, as I love discovering unexpected places, I followed the sign until I came to a dilemma. A choice of a no through road or turn off to the right. Well, I thought, it is perhaps most likely along the no through road and at least I will come to an end, whereas the other road could take me who knows how far. Mere seconds along the no through road and I was regretting my choice. There were no passing points, nowhere to go if another vehicle appeared, especially if it was a tractor, and no way I could reverse unless I could manage a straight (or curving) line. Recalling a theme within a book I am reading*, I tried to convince myself that it was less boring to follow this road and that I must let my fear ride alongside and ignore it. I eventually arrived at a farm where there were lots of tractors and the people living there came out to see me. It was good to meet a friendly face and I was reassured that there were no tractors due to arrive and if another vehicle did appear, it was possible to somehow squeeze past. I was kindly given directions to the Art Studio which was but a few minutes away.

And so I came to arrive at This Art of Mine Arts & Craft Studio. I was welcomed by a friendly dog from the neighbouring house and discovered that the Studio was in fact closed but there was someone there. I was welcomed in and had a guided tour, discovering a wonderful place that offered workshops (which included decorating pottery and jewellery making) and also an area dedicated to open access to just turn up and pay as you paint pottery. It was really spacious and light, with plenty of examples of work that had already been done.

When I left, I decided to carry on and head back to the main road. In doing so, I ended up arriving at one of my favourite restaurants, The Black Horse Inn at Thurnham that I had not visited in a long while.

I wasn’t hungry when I arrived so had a lemonade and sat outside on the terrace in the sunshine. Enticed by the daily special menu, I lengthened my stay and enjoyed a tasty three course lunch ending with a luscious Creme Brûlée.

I was full and sat relaxing, reading my book in the cosy historic atmosphere of the Inn.

The Black Horse Inn is licensed for Marriages and Civil Ceremonies. It is a beautiful place with a special landscaped area for ceremonies. There is also accommodation that can be booked. Ideal for wedding guests or if you are having a special celebration and want to be able to have a drink and not worry about driving home, or if you are visiting the area and want somewhere different to stay.

I am including the following photo as it shows more of the immense outdoor areas available. The sun was so bright that the angle I took it has affected it but in black and white it does provide you with a picture of what it is like – perhaps it adds a hint of romance.

The Black Horse Inn is a very friendly and welcoming public house and restaurant (with accommodation) and I thoroughly recommend a visit if you find yourself in the area of Maidstone in Kent, England. Their website can be found here.

I never ended up on the Hucking Estate but information on this Woodland Trust area, and other areas within the Kent Downs – AnArea of Outstanding Natural Beauty – can be found here www.kentdowns.org.uk.

This Art of Mine Art & Craft Studio – information can be found here.

The book I am reading is Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear, written by Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Eat Pray Love. Here is a link to The The Guardian Q & A with the author.